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Posted
Here is our website:

 

All comments (negative and positive are welcome)

Herder-Fermex - Herder

 

Hi Ronald - impressive kit. 3 main things:

 

  1. The site is not written by a native English speaker so it's losing a lot of potential persuasive impact
  2. There are just too many words - it needs thinning / editing throughout - stuf like 'H... assures the highest quality, the best results' is filler - it falls into the category of 'I should hope so' - if I have to read too much of that sort of stuff I may just give up
  3. You're slightly overdoing the 'we' throughout the site - get the focus back to 'you' (your customer's problems)

Hope that helps

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Posted
Hi Ronald - impressive kit. 3 main things:

 

  1. The site is not written by a native English speaker so it's losing a lot of potential persuasive impact
  2. There are just too many words - it needs thinning / editing throughout - stuf like 'H... assures the highest quality, the best results' is filler - it falls into the category of 'I should hope so' - if I have to read too much of that sort of stuff I may just give up
  3. You're slightly overdoing the 'we' throughout the site - get the focus back to 'you' (your customer's problems)

Hope that helps

 

Hi Mikerecike,

 

Thanks for your comments.

on point 1, you are totally right. I didn't realise the "size of the impact", but as said, thanks for letting us know. I will ask "native english speakers" to review the translations and try to improve the texts.

 

I also will bring the other 2 points under the attention of my collegue who is responsible for the website.

 

Regards,

Ronald

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
Hi James, your bane is the spelling and grammar.

 

It should be companies not company's and their climbers, not there climbers.

 

There's loads more, but you get the idea.

 

Not being picky but nearly all the websites I look at on this thread have really basic errors.

 

Doesn't anyone proof read them?

 

Sorry to be an arse, but you did ask.

 

 

Right. I have tried my best regarding the grammar on my website after your comments 👍😂 http://www.atkinsonarb.co.uk

  • Like 1
Posted
Right. I have tried my best regarding the grammar on my website after your comments [emoji106][emoji23] http://www.atkinsonarb.co.uk

 

 

I think you need to stop mixing tenses up. Use one or the other.

As in 1st person and 3rd person.

Also get rid of myself in "call myself James" it sounds wrong. It's a good effort but worth paying to have someone do it if you are struggling.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Arbtalk

Posted (edited)
Spent a couple of days whilst on holiday changing my website adding a few bits and bobs to help with seo. Can anyone see any mistakes or things that should be changed http://www.countrysidetreeandgardenservices.co.uk

 

Some of the text is a bit lumpen and awkward (specifically the paragraph The managing director Andy....) the odd tiny mistake but pretty well set out site imo.

Edited by Mick Dempsey
Posted
Alright mate, just wondering why you mention my business on your website. You've written, "Why Choose Us Over... Nick Bailey Tree Surgeon Or The Rest Of The Pack."

Not sure if you're slagging us off or not? :001_smile:

I'll get the popcorn.. This could be good!

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