Favourite saying or one liner’s.

[Xerxses]

If I had a pound for the amount of times this has happened to me....(But I'm a softy - so I've always done it!)

 

For free?

This guy was a computerconsultant charging 100 pounds/hour!

[slasherscot]

dont ask me i am only chin down......i aint paid to think

[crosscut]

"Do you think you could dig that out?" As the customer points to the worlds biggest Ash Stump!

 

"You've got more chance of S**ting Stawberrys!" As I reply!

[treejumper]

For free?

This guy was a computerconsultant charging 100 pounds/hour!

 

This is life - as a general rule the people with a lot of money and property / worldly goods - keep them!

[Chris Harris]

Last time i saw something that big it had a harpoon in it!

 

If i want your opinion i'll ask your mrs!

 

You've got more neck than a thousand giraffes

[Canal Navvy]

Ribs still hurt from laughing.

I like "How can anybody be so ugly without having two heads"

[PeteB]

I glad to say I started out with buggar all and being the frugal chap, I've still got most of it left!

[Tom D]

Saw Frankie Bolye the other day, he said to a guy in the front row: " you look like someone shaved a monkey and kicked it through Top Man." and also " So the queen is a german married to a greek; she must have an arse like a broken cat flap" LOL.

[Tommy_B]

Jobs a good un.

 

I'm pretty sure it'll fit...(Take that how you will)

 

Face like a bucket full of broken assh*les with the ten prettiest taken out.

[log man]

how can anyone be so thick with one head. id rather be up that than up a ladder. if brains were dynamite he wouldnt have enough to blow his nose.