One liners from customers

[TheTreeWiseMen]

"My bush needs fertilizing."

[Big 'Ammer]

I've got a large black pinus I'd like you to take a look at.

 

[TheTreeWiseMen]

"I have a tree growing in my rear passage."

[monkeyboy]

The obvious "That's a big chopper!"

[Mozza]

A women once asked me "Do you charge for cutting

trees down?" Errrrrrr yes!

[Rowan the Bruce]

Recently a fit, blonde client asked me to reduce a long privet hedge but wanted to 'keep a screen because I like to sunbathe naked in the garden'. That took me a bit by surprise.

[Sambo]

I can beat that. We had a load of Students searching in their kit bags looking for sky hooks!!!

 

Put 'Sky Hooks' in Google!!

[Big dog]

And why is it, when they book you in for a specific date and time and you turn up and the garden is full of either A) plant pots, swings, trampolines or kids toys

or B) Doggie doo.

One of my employers couldn't stand the sight and smell of dog mess, it used to make wretch. Funny as you like...

[18 stoner]

"when we planted it 35 years ago, it was only 2 feet high"

 

and getting an enquiry on the phone, ask the customer

 

"what type of tree is it?"

 

"oh, well, errrrm, not really sure,.... its got green leaves"

[18 stoner]

I've sort of had one like that today....

 

A message on the mobile voicemail from an irate customer as to why we wern't there at 10 o'clock today as promised' date=' blah blah blah etc..

 

They left name address and phone no.

 

The best of it is I have no idea who it is! Not one of my customers and an address I've never heard of or been to!

 

Tried ringing back but their phone is off, so it may well be a wind up.

 

On the other hand I want to get to the bottom of it as there may well be a job in it, or some tw*t is going round doorknocking pretending to be us.

 

In fact I'll try them again now![/quote']

 

Could be some of the local competition Nige