Jokes???

[Wolfie]

Man going into Tesco and orders a cheeseburger.

Lady behind the counter asks "do you want anything on it?"

Man replies "yeah, i'll have £5 each way"

[Stephen Blair]

That's the first 1 that's made me laugh

[farmer rod]

I was standing behind a lady who asked for a Tesco Burger, the assistant said "Would you like anything on that"

she replied "Yes, a fiver each way"

[redmoosefaction]

That's the first one that's made me laugh:)

 

Adam

[skyhuck]

Echo??

[farmer rod]

Echo??

 

its like deja vue all over again

[BabyBuzz]

I think someone may be sending me death threats.

 

Woke up this morning with a Tesco burger on my pillow.

[Al Cormack]

A Highways Agency warning said anyone travelling in icy conditions should take a shovel, blankets, sleeping bag, extra clothing, including a scarf, hat, gloves, 24 hour supply of food and drink, de-icer, rock salt, torch, tow rope, petrol can, first aid kit and jump leads.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I looked a right **** on the bus last night......

[Rich Rule]

The misses said to me "I bet you can't go one day without cracking a joke about my periods"

 

"You're on!" I said.

[oldwoodcutter]

Checked in at the honeymooners hotel were 3 couples,and towards the end of the evening Tom Dick and Harry happened to all be at the bar,away from their ladies for a moment.

They got chatting,and of course ended up talking about the impending activities,and with this in mind decided that the 3 couples would sit together over breakfast.

Next morning old Tom started off and dropped just 1 sugar cube in his tea and stirred it up,middle aged Dick meanwhile reached for the sugar bowl and dropped 3 lumps in his cuppa.

Young Harry then picked up the sugar spoon and glumly threw it straight in the pot of raspberry jam.