Jokes???

[Rich Rule]

Like it!!!

[Rich Rule]

A guy walks into a restaurant and wants to eat squid. He calls the waiter

over, whose name is Yervaise, and says 'I want that squid there', pointing

at a little green squid with a hairy moustache on its top lip.

Yervaise says, 'but that's my favourite, I don't want to kill it, it's so

mild and friendly'. But the customer is insistent, so Yervaise goes over

to the tank, pulls out the squid and lays it on the worktop. He raises

a knife and is about to chop it up, but he can't. Yervaise goes back to

the customer, and says he can't kill it, but the customer still insists that he wants to eat it.

Yervaise has an idea, and says 'OK, I'll go and get Hans, our dishwasher,

he's a tough guy, he'll be able to kill it'. He goes and gets Hans, and

Hans takes the knife and is about to chop the squid up, when it looks up.

Hans sees its mild little face and its hairy lip and he can't kill it

either, so they both go and tell the customer that they're really sorry

and he can't eat it.

 

 

 

 

The moral of the story?... ..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hans that does dishes is as soft as Yervaise with mild green hairy lip squid.

[farmer rod]

So..

 

whose the greatest bloke at the hospital??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the Ultra Sound Guy ....

 

 

but when the ultra sound guy is on his day off, who is the greatest bloke about??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

... the Hip Replacement Guy..

[redmoosefaction]

A guy walks into a restaurant and wants to eat squid. He calls the waiter

over, whose name is Yervaise, and says 'I want that squid there', pointing

at a little green squid with a hairy moustache on its top lip.

Yervaise says, 'but that's my favourite, I don't want to kill it, it's so

mild and friendly'. But the customer is insistent, so Yervaise goes over

to the tank, pulls out the squid and lays it on the worktop. He raises

a knife and is about to chop it up, but he can't. Yervaise goes back to

the customer, and says he can't kill it, but the customer still insists that he wants to eat it.

Yervaise has an idea, and says 'OK, I'll go and get Hans, our dishwasher,

he's a tough guy, he'll be able to kill it'. He goes and gets Hans, and

Hans takes the knife and is about to chop the squid up, when it looks up.

Hans sees its mild little face and its hairy lip and he can't kill it

either, so they both go and tell the customer that they're really sorry

and he can't eat it.

 

 

 

 

The moral of the story?... ..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hans that does dishes is as soft as Yervaise with mild green hairy lip squid.

 

Oh yeah! That's what I'm talking about! 8-)) keep em coming.

[redmoosefaction]

What do you call a dwarf psychic who escaped from jail? A small medium at large

[Stephen Blair]

Rich, awesome!!

Moose, funny stuff!!

Made me chuckle

[Al Cormack]

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned

to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike

up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

 

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total

stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

 

"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God,

or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.

 

"Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask

you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same

stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns

out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

 

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence,

thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I really have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss

God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know ****?"

 

And then she went back to reading her book.

[Joe Newton]

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned

to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike

up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

 

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total

stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

 

"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God,

or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.

 

"Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask

you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same

stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns

out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

 

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence,

thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I really have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss

God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know ****?"

 

And then she went back to reading her book.

 

I wouldn't know how to reply to that... and its really annoying me

[j r hartly]

What do you call a policeman that hasn't shaved?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

C*ntstubble

 

trees, waves and cakes!!:-)

[TGB]

I wouldn't know how to reply to that... and its really annoying me

 

I do.

"S*** happens. It's not always the same when it does and it's not always the same for everyone. But when it happens, it happen."