Jokes???

[PeteB]

I ended up with an older woman at a club last night.

She looked OK for a 61 year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really great looking daughter.

We drank a bit, had a bit of a snuggle, and then she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double.

'What's that?' I asked, thinking maybe a beer and whisky mix.

'A mother and daughter threesome,' she said.

I said 'No' - excitedly. '...never had one of those.'

We drank a bit more, then she said that tonight was 'my lucky night'.

So we went back to her place.

She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mum, you still awake?

[Tommy_B]

I ended up with an older woman at a club last night.

She looked OK for a 61 year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really great looking daughter.

We drank a bit, had a bit of a snuggle, and then she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double.

'What's that?' I asked, thinking maybe a beer and whisky mix.

'A mother and daughter threesome,' she said.

I said 'No' - excitedly. '...never had one of those.'

We drank a bit more, then she said that tonight was 'my lucky night'.

So we went back to her place.

She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mum, you still awake?

 

:lol:

[PeteB]

My wife says a small penis shouldn't matter in a loving relationship.

I guess not, but I'd still prefer if she didn't have one.

[PeteB]

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room,

Took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the look of your wife at all.'

 

'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good

with the kids.'

[will.morris]

3 men captured by female savages, are told their dicks would be removed, in a manner appropriate to their jobs. 1st was a lumberjack so his would be chopped off, 2nd was a butcher, so his would be sliced off. 3rd man started laughing. The females asked what was so funny. He replied 'I work for dyson'

[sandy2210]

Three farmers married wives from different countries.

 

The first man married a woman from Italy . He told her that she was to do

the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day,

he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

 

 

The second man married a woman from Sweden . He gave his wife orders that

she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he

didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third

day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge

dinner on the table.

 

 

The third man married a girl from IRELAND . He ordered her to keep the house

cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the

table for every meal.

 

He said the first day he didn't see anything, the

second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling

had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was

healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.

[sandy2210]

this could be a true story as I am married to a good irish woman

[Stephen Blair]

Priceless!

[oldwoodcutter]

Did you hear the story about the three holes in the ground?

Well,well,well.

[Christopher Schroeter]

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

 

It turned into a field.