Jokes???

[Stere]

New covid side effect?

 

 

&

 

Dancing mania - Wikipedia

EN.WIKIPEDIA.ORG

 

[Khriss]

9 minutes ago, Stere said:

New covid side effect

&

 

Dancing mania - Wikipedia

EN.WIKIPEDIA.ORG

 

....... We used to go down to Kent for that, big pigskin drums n  flutes, some sort of funny apothecary was involved also  ?  K

[Stere]

 

[Ratman]

[Ratman]

[TIMON]

I like the way that poster portrays NHS workers as exceptionally good looking... [emoji51]

I live in N Warwickshire.....

[Khriss]

WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS!

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language became boiled down to 4-letter words.

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy."
Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
Winston Churchill

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill replied "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one."

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
Samuel Johnson.

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
Paul Keating.

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." Forrest Tucker.

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" Mark Twain.

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.."
Mae West.

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
Oscar Wilde.

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. for support rather than illumination."
Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
Billy Wilder.

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." Groucho Marx

[Sutton]

Not forgetting politics is just showbiz for ugly people, the names have been changed to protect the innocent in this little old-style satire.

My neighbour's carer says she was told by a burse in the MHS that the joke is on Horis the wannabe Turnip. Turns out he was told to get infected with Covid-19 by the real powers-that-be as his private improprieties meant he lacked the true gravitas required for what this crisis demands. They told him his oafish buffoonery was unsuited for the press briefings to tell us what's happening and what should be done about it. So that rake Snaab was drafted in.
Apparently backroom advice only agreed to let Horis off the sidelines once his gf had squeezed out some hopefully distracting news. Then he wuz told he could finally have some fun and play the three Blair trump cards of sympathy, praise and celebration to get the fanboys back on side.

But my neighbour's carer isn't a brit so what does she know?

[htb]

19 hours ago, TIMON said:

 

I like the way that poster portrays NHS workers as exceptionally good looking...

I live in N Warwickshire.....


 

 

Is that not Normal for Norfolk

[Husqvarna King]

??