a question to all you dads or sons out there

[Stephen Blair]

i am having a bit of a dad mini crisis just now, my eldest is 4, all my activities with him always end up in something that revolves around my work, he is 4 and still cant ride a bike or swim but he can do a 3 point turn in his john deere gator and fill it with his mini digger, he can sweep up and shovel sand better than a lot of my old employees and loves getting stuck in with chores. this is how i was brought up, i am crap at swimming and cant be bothered with team sports and those types of activities. Now sometimes when i was younger i would of rather of been playing with my pals but the chance of driving a tractor or playing with an axe, air gun, building fires and dens and helping my dad do logs was always what i wanted to do. And when i left school at 15 i was head and shoulders ahead of work colleagues in their 20's. I remember getting the tractor unstuck on my first week after the boss couldnt, and i never winged about hard work. Now on thurday i decided i would do 'normal' stuff with my boy. But i bought a mini digger today and me and xander are going for it, is this bad? I wasnt even bothered about it until i told him and his excitement was infectious. is this good or am i neglecting my dad duties, is teaching him to swim far more important? As a family, the Blairs arent swimmers, my parents dont and me and my brother are like bricks. We just respect water and take the appropriate precautions when need be. Am i worrying about nothing??

[testcricket01]

at the end of the day as long as your son is happy and smileing then your doing a top job at being a dad. nothing wrong with doing what hes happy doing if he wants to do team sports and swimming etc, he will do that at school and find out if he likes it. i wouldnt worry about it.

[timtree81]

ask him ...what do you wont to do ,simples ,

[Tree Man Tom]

As a "son", i was brought up the same way you were, let loose on machines as soon as i could reach pedals and leavers. You learn some things the hard way, you hurt yourself and learn not to do it again.

 

I used to go off and build "dens" in trees and woodlands, yes i used to fall out the tree, or i used fall in the stingers, but i learnt... by doing all this i gained alot of common sense for things in life. My dad didnt teach me many "life skills" i just used to help him all the time, learning stuff for myself. If i wanted to learn something new, id go out of my way to learn it myself.

 

What im getting at is that i taught myself alot of life skills, so you just do what you want to do with your son mate. He will learn for himself, or ask you if he wants to learn something. I thank my dad so much for letting me do what i did when i was a nipper, your son will do the same in years to come in sure.

 

If hes happy, thats all that matters!

 

It abit of a waffle what i just said, hope you get the jist of what im saying lol

Edited November 27, 2009 by Tree Man Tom

[Andy Collins]

Life skills are all important, whatever they are, make the most of these moments Stevie they are soon gone as they grow up.

[skyhuck]

I think it great that you spend so much time with your boy, as long as he is enjoying it I can't see a problem.

 

BUT, I do think being able to swim is an important life skill, my 4 have all had lessons and both my boys (12 and 14) can swim and my girls (5 and 6) will continue to have lessons till they can.

[plippy]

to be honest he porbably loves the time you have together,no matter what it is ya doing, most working families struggle to make any time with their children, i have 2 girls so i can get away with wearing the make up on a weekend hehe.

 

seriously if my dad had all that kit like yours,id be well impressed, im sure he thinks your the coolest dad in the world:thumbup1:

[woodworm]

I think you are spot on fella. I bet you've always done alright for yourself and sure as hell he will be the same. There is no right and wrong and there's certainly not a rule book about being a parent. I've got 2 girls and feel real bad that I don't do a great deal with them, but they're not really interested in chopping logs or felling trees or woodchippers, but I love them with every bone in my body and thats the important thing, as I am sure you do your kids. All I say is keep up the good work fella. Your little lad will benefit in the long term, not just from you giving him a bit of graft to see what life is all about, but also by realising that all his school buddies will sit at home doing nothing while he is already learning a trade and hopefully earning a bit of pocket money and thats what work is for. Look out Alan Sugar, Shreks Wee Nephew is right behind you!!

[slack ma girdle]

Count your blessings that you a spending quality time with your children.

[David oakman]

I can swim but not well. But we did teach our son and daughter to swim at about your sons age and they are now very good swimmers. But i am like you i was always outside with mates or helping dad this made me what i am hard working but i don't mix well with a crowd:001_smile: