Your worst ever worker (stories!)

[Mick Dempsey]

As an counterpoint to Steve’s “Best Ever Worker” type thread I’d like to hear your unbelievably bad stories.

 

Mine was a guy who said half way through the morning that he needed to crap, so I sent him over the road to a wood. He took his bag which I presume contained toilet paper.

 

An hour later he emerged from the woods clearly gouging out after smoking (or injecting) heroin, for which he had a penchant.

 

I couldn’t help liking him though.

[Steve Bullman]

I think your thread is going to be full of far more stories than mine Mick.  I concede early

[Mark Wileman]

Not my story but the company I work too had a guy on trial the week before I did some work experience with them. Apparently he had always wanted to be a tree surgeon and had a ton of farming/general rural experience. He had no tickets so all they had him doing was raking up, blowing and dragging brash to the chipper. On the second day he refused to get out of the wagon after lunch, saying he'd never worked so hard in his life and was exhausted 

To be honest he is probably the only reason I got a job, oxygen thieves do have their place in society after all! 

[Steve Bullman]

I have so many over a 20 year career I don't know where to start

[spudulike]

I was using agency workers many years ago and phoned the agency to ask for workers that had lace up shoes, baffled, the girl from the agency asked why? I said that the ones they were sending were that stupid they had to wear slip ons as there was no way they could do up shoe laces......wasn't far from the truth either

[sloth]

I found the youngun at a company I used to work for standing on a shovel and wiggling once - he was trying to see if he could pick himself up! Not the sharpest tool in the box, but a hard worker though...

[Christopher Schroeter]

At a place I used to work, one of the bright sparks was lost and had to phone the boss at the yard for help.
When the boss asked if he could see a street sign or a village sign to get a general idea of where he was he said he was in Layby!

[arbogrunt]

a mate of mine had a groundie called 'Frank'. Frank is the source of many stories...even after 20 odd years. He was once asked if he would drive down to the shops to get cold drinks for the crew, on a hot summers day. He asked everyone what they wanted. One of the climbers asked for 20 B and H and a box of matches...'what if they haven't got B and H?' ...'get me anything' said the climber.

He duly arrived a short time later and gave the climber a pork pie and a box of matches....'whats this?'he asked ...'you said if they havent got B and H, get me anything' 

 

 

[skyhuck]

I once worked with a lad, I was subby climbing, he was grounding. While doing the final clear up he was shovelling up sawdust into a wheelbarrow, but the barrow was few feet from where he was shovelling, so he kept dropping bits where I had swept.

 

Sarcastically I said "why don't you move the barrow a bit further away".......................................HE DID!!!       I was speechless 

 

Apparently he had previously worked in a pot-noodle factory, he held the pot while two other people put different things in the pot, he was replaced by a table. 

[gdh]

A farmer round here hired someone to roll his field. He went round the outside first and said to the man 'I've done the difficult bit for you, just keep going '.

 

A few hours later he went to check he had finished the field and found the man still going round the outside with the edge of the field sunk about a foot.