Sorry to hear about the dog Eggs, I've been through it myself but I hope the following may make you smile...
I used to have a border collie (Muttley) and when we came back from France he had to spend 6 months in quarantine which sent him a bit mad (this was before they relaxed quarantine). I think we had two kids at the time and my ex said that he was snapping at them, though I never saw it myself (working away most of the week), so she decided (and I acquiesced) that he needed to be put down so I ended up taking him to the vets...after they gave him the injection I asked if there was a rear exit but was told no, so had to come out through the waiting room with a dead dog in my arms and tears in my eyes. he had the last laugh though as he had a full bladder and managed to piss all over me before I buried him next to an oak tree that I'd planted for my father who'd died 6 months before. But this story concerns an earlier episode when we were living in France...
My ex and I were having a barny one day, a real stand up shouting match and the dog was jumping between us barking loudly and telling us to be quiet. At one point his bark and my body met and his lower incisors cut through my jeans, my underpants and left two puncture wounds in my scrotum. my ex collapsed onto the floor laughing (before offering sympathy and help) and the dog hearing my scream, then silence fled to the forest for the rest of the day. When finally able to move and examine myself in a mirror I decided I probably needed medical attention in case of infection (we only had the one child at the time and if I'd realised the cost of the next two I might have changed my mind...), so I ended up with my first trip to my local GP being because of bite wounds to my privates (why do they never teach you useful phrases in French O level such as " I've just been bitten in the balls by my dog - do i need a tetanus?" ). I hate to think what the local gossip was that week I still remember Muttley with fondness, the mountains we climbed (picture of dog, rucksack and summit cairn in mist to prove a Monroe) and sharing a two man tent with a wet collie