TGB

A joke in three parts, which must be read aloud to another person to be funny. Q. How do you get four elephants in a mini? A. Two in the front and two in the back. Q. How do you get four hippos in a mini? A. You can't, it's full of elephants. Q. How do you get two whales in a mini? A. Over the Severn Bridge. Note. I know the different between 'to' and 'two' - also between 'whales' and 'Wales'. As I said, has to be aloud to be funny.

Maybe she's gone from milkmen to arborists, . Think yourselves lucky you got away.

One has to wonder at the rational of starting or trying to start outdoor machinery indoors. Especially one that has leaked fuel.

Yesterday working alongside a friend, clearing out small stuff suitable for charcoal, when I noticed an odd smell. It came and went and I thought it might be a sign of something amiss. Then I realised, the smell was only present when his pump-mixed MS 260 was working close by. Ok, so 'A' is more expensive. But for the reasons I've previously mentioned plus yesterday's reminder, I'm quite happy I decided to run Aspen.

Same here - thank you. Barrie, you're a gent.

Yep. Transmitted through urine and feces transfer into open wounds, if swallowed in contaminated water, absorption into eyes/nose or if breathed in via contaminated atomised liquids. Just thought there was a slight risk of fur being smeared with urine or other. And if contaminated fur came into contact with wound... Next time, just get the shovel and or get a ratter rather that a pet.

If she starts getting flu like symptoms soon that doesn't quit after a week. Get checked out for Weil's Disease, (rat sank its teeth and who knows what could also have been on its coat at the time.

Looking at the pressure charts yesterday, it would appear that only the coast from southern Cornwall to maybe Suffolk were going to get it bad. Sure it was tamping down last night and my brother who has just completed another 'OMM', said the wind made things hard going. But even out on the open fells, he reckoned it wasn't half as bad as the 2007 event. No, I'm glad we've still go trees aplenty. Down to a wood tomorrow, so safety check first me thinks. And if the wind is slight, a few more Ash, Sycamore and Elder to clear.

My first job. Worked with a great chap and a couple of plonkers but really enjoyed it. If I hadn't be made redundant, I reckon I'd still be digging. They were just bringing in machinery when I started. Though the two cemeteries I covered, both had graves about 8"-12" apart, so JCB was only used to rough out new graves in hard ground, (if the whether was good enough for it to get up the mountains. Both the cemeteries were on top of mountains.) All the rest were dug by hand, be they re-openers, new in soft ground or exhumations. Grass cutting was either a Flymo, 8" Hayter or hand shears. And the first Husky strimmers were trialled with us. Strimmers were fast but the Hayter got a cracking finish, could get between most graves and ran for ages on a single tank of straight fuel. You got to spend hours on your tod and sometimes only saw one other person during the day. Dry stoneless soil was the easiest digging and wet heavy clay was the worst, (sometimes with limestone boulders included). It could take 30mins. to break down some stones with a sledge hammer, smaller enough to heft out of the grave. Hard graft but strangely enjoyable - except in the middle of winter, when temps. were well below freezing. You'd be clearing 2ft. of snow off the top, before hand digging the grave. Then have to shovel the internal paths and roads. And on the day, wait till the last mourner had slid their way out of the gates, before filling in the grave the best you could with frozen lumps earth. As I say, overall I liked it and quite miss it.

Had a quick look round and a 'Dolmar' site gives 14" & 16" bars for the 410 / 411. But on the 'Makita' site, it gives 33cm (13") & 38cm (15) bars for the 410 / 411. If it reads 15 on your bar, I'd go with that and the 64 links.

I could be wrong but I reckon it's for a 15" bar. For 16", you'd need 67 drive links.

Couple of rules to 'live' by in any rescue situation: 1. Life before property 2. Ensure your own safety first. If you can't look after yourself, you can't look after the casualty/victim/situation. Whether the last applies to people in fire control or the courageous souls of sea rescue... well, you would have to ask them individually after the event. They go in and out, so we can get out and go home.

When I called into various dealers Echo, Husky and Stihl alike, some for more than just one brand. I always asked which of my shortlisted saws by brand they thought most reliable. Or rather, which they'd had back most for in-warranty repairs? To a man/woman, they all said roughly the same thing, "You'll probably get through the warranty without anything going wrong." When I mentioned known customer issues, such as the 550XP not hot-starting, snapping brake-bands or the MS261 eating clutch bearings and the like. They answered as if this was the first they'd ever heard of such an issue; "If you get a good operator, you'll have no problems." Any problem with the saw/equipment, was always attributed to either operator error or lack of dealer servicing.

I look down for five minutes, reply to a couple of threads. When I look up, the nearest mountain has disappeared. Either it's raining hard or some blighter has nicked the scenery.

That made me chuckle.

Perhaps he'd pulled a sick day. Told his boss he had had a touch of jaundice and he wanted the colour to back up his claim.

All very nice but couldn't you have removed the sawdust to match the shiny bar?

All of the above are perpetrated by people who don't care about their driving, nor about the environment in which they find themselves. For these kind of people, it is their belief that the world revolves around them. That they and the nearest & dearest are the only important people on the planet. All others are to be looked down on and if at all possible, the lives of others are to be blighted at every opportunity. These type of people, are as a copper once said to me, as we jointly turfed them off the property after a couple of hours wrangling and talking them down from their stated purpose - that they were going to beat/knife me and my colleagues; were going to damage various parts of the property; and if they or their friends saw us in town, that we better start looking over our shoulders. Most of which was bravado. He, (the copper) said, "Some people are trouble wherever are or go. I just wish they'd stay at home and leave the rest of us in peace." While getting into their vehicles to leave, they shouted they'd come back at night, ram the walls and burn down my place, waving their lighters for effect. I better they regretted those last words and actions. As it got them arrested on mass, for threatening behaviour and their vehicles impounded.

This is turning into a SOTP like thread. Not a bad thing I might add.

Ah, just looked at the info on Rob D's and H21 LB (semi/micro chisel) appears to be 30°. And a H21 LP (full chisel) appears to be 25°.

Uh! On the table given be Eman, the file angle for 'H21' is 30°. But on the table given by you, the file angle on the same chain, is 25°. Which one is correct?

Yeah. Well roses are dangerous things. And grass, grass can give your clothes a nice green stain.

I generally use a mix of the 'Met Office, XC Weather' and for coastal, 'Wind Guru'.

It's piddling across. Still, it could be worse, it could be 'really' raining with high winds. Spent yesterday morning in Poole Harbour on safety boat looking after 'Flying 15s'. There were suppose to be 15-18 of them but only six crews turned out and only five decided to race. 28 knots and a fairly short course made for swift racing. Only the back marker was having any difficulty. They had a propensity of choosing a line between narrow gaps. And eventually came within a few degrees of capsize but manage to save it; only to drag their main across a moored wooden cruiser and then its mooring bouy. The first came in 10-15mins. before the last crew. It threatened rain but nothing happened till we were loading the car, when it chucked it down. We got wetter in those few minutes, than we had out on the water. But just after we got into the car, the forecast hail arrived and the harbour disappeared from view. Vizability went from being able to see right across the bay, to less 100m.

Perhaps signs requesting that people who wish to ignore the signage, please supply their blood group and next of kin.