AHPP

I meant "antis" but I can't stand the term. Thought I'd reach for an entirely different slur to keep the site moving.

Are you human?

The eco/carbon arguments for and against wood burning are as crass as each other. Nobody has a bloody clue. Each side peddles propaganda. Worse than shooters and homosexuals.

I had to slalom past a long line of Audi Q7s in a fairly well-to-do Essex village this morning. Was about to get annoyed with one of the offenders returning to her littledarling-wagon but she was dressed quite agreeably. Let her off with a warning.

I e-mailed Beth Gibbons the other week to tell her the world would forgive them for their third album if they came back and did another like the first two.

I was freelance climbing some (recently discussed on here as it happens) poplars a few years ago. They were big, spready and mostly weighted over a pretty major trainline. I'd set up my Hobbs on a cherry tree in the garden with a pulley a foot above it and was using that as a winch to pull tops into the garden. I'd shown five of them how to use it. "In the top peg, wrap the drum, out the bottom peg." I was ready to cut and telling them to crank. Four of them monstering the bar round, very little effect on the line tension. Eventually there was just enough so I made the cut. Came down. Inspected device. Top peg bent into the drum. My mind boggled. Tried to ascertain who'd wrapped it, how they'd wrapped it etc. They were suddenly all very interested in other things about the site. Eventually worked out that they'd put three turns on the top peg and then wrapped the drum. Shook my head, applied a spanner to it and finished the job watching them like a hawk.

There's still a gap in the market for my airship idea.

How far would you say you were walking a day? Keep an eye on your fitbit this morning and approximate.

Interesting sounding career. What did you do?

All the UK's a garden and all the men and women merely mincers.

I freelance climbed some poplars (spready, not lombardy) next to busy train tracks. Was meant to be removals. Turned into twiglets. Told the guy I was working for that twiglets was moronic, they'd grow back and bits would forever be falling off over the boundary and his client would be letting himself in for massive headaches with the railway people in future. Would have liked to convince his client of my logic but it's not for me to usurp my paymaster. Did them as low as possible for a fighting chance that they might be maintained from a ladder by a plucky gardener. Got paid, made a note in my phone to politely refuse future engagement and set the sat nav for home.

Fair enough. Want to argue about anything else? I like black people and want them to marry our daughters.

Video yourself and then watch back with a pair of chess clocks. Measure cutting time vs everything else time. And they're no faster in the cut on normal size stuff. Possibly a tiny bit on three foot oak butts but that time's lost straight back to dealing with 404 when you only had to deal with 3/8 before. If you like it, great but for some reason we're now arguing over what's better and I think it's a 661. UNLESS one wants a ≥48" bar.

Spot on. I had a 30" 404 on a 880 (that's what it came with). Stupid. Now have a 36" 3/8 on a 661. Way better. THE UK big saw for UK big stuff.

I've made it look a bit far-fetched in that diagram but I'm sure it gets the idea across.

A perfect storm of misery. Long bar, heavy powerhead with big spikes, crammed in a picker basket. It's all well and good if you're bigtreedon and can sling it around like a battery powered Dyson but just grim otherwise. And still pointless. I've only really wanted a bigger than 36" bar once in ten ish years climbing and that was on a tree that was 12' or so diameter at the ground. I only had to letterbox it once to make a 7 or 8' cut. Never felt lacking otherwise. The 66x is a quality machine. The inherent misery of a big saw is magnified when it doesn't start easily. I remember working for a firm in Liverpool a few times. I only took a climbing saw with me at the time. Their 660 would idle fine but die when you went on the throttle and then be a pig to start. I pointed out the problem on a few jobs spread over a few months. They'd get it fixed they promised. They never did. It died up a pine tree for the fifteenth time that day and didn't want to restart. I, already quite annoyed with it, psyched myself up for a strong pull and with all my might smashed my elbow into a stub. Angriest I've ever been by a factor of several. Literally saw red. It's not just a saying. My vision went pink with fury. I took a few minutes, rearranged my knickers, finished the day and bought two saws on the way home.

Can you describe it please.

I've long thought an artificial central leader would be useful for spready/weak trees. Like a lighting tower boom, bit of stage truss or just ladders. Strap it to the trunk and maypole around it doing the outlying branches.

My findings also. Plus slower everywhere else, not least psyching yourself up to carry and start the bastard.

Bar mount. Ah yes. Hazy memory that there might be an adapter. I was thinking to myself just earlier today how much happier I am with my 661 than I was with my 880. The actual cutting you do with big saws is such a minor part of the whole experience. Back on fire, I assume the cutting bits short to make it like rubble rather than like pick a stix is intentional?

Have you got the 881 on 404 or 3/8?

The bloody size of that! At least 10mm, buried to the hilt in his big pad.

Fried duck breasts on a bed of onion and sprouts. Caper, rosemary and garlic butter to bathe the meat. Dusting of paprika. Potatoes out of shot.