PeteB

Simon, when considering an engine type swap, there are many factors that need to be thrown into the pot. Things like the cooling pack, exhaust route, gearing, output shaft, linkages, pump drives etc need to be considered. Don't forget the balance and nose weight of the machine too. At the moment, you have a piece of scrap, is it worth doing anything with or is it time to move on? I have seen a couple of "conversions" and they where not done well. An industrial engine is totally different from an automotive engine too. Can the old unit be rebuilt if you cannot get a new or newer chipper? Have a trawl about the various web sites and forums to see if you can acquire another Quick-Chip/TS or even engine to use in place of yours. Don't forget though...no matter how much you spend, you will still be the owner of a an old machine! A sound piece of advice would be - buy a newer machine. Money is cheap at the moment, so use it while it is available....

I saw a couple advertised either on mascus or agriaffaires in some far flung land. I did think of taking it on myself if I could find a backer and a load of other products......

Too true Marko, too true. I've been on the other side of the table myself.... Anyone can contact me and a have a right moan about anything to do with GreenMech - that is what I am employed for. I then pass on your comments to the appropriate people. But if we buy it in for silly money and sell it one for silly money plus 10% , we cannot help it! All those 10%'s add up to people wages, the cost of having things on the shelf (or back order:sneaky2:), warranty claims that we get stiffed for and so on including profitability. We sometimes get held over a barrel and sometimes we then change suppliers, but it isn't always possible to get that component from elsewhere... The APF is a sales portal not a special reason to gripe at the suppliers about their spares costs specifically. That act can be done at any point in the year... Please feel free to come to the APF even if you are not buying machinery now but talk to your suppliers all the time....

Longest Nerve In The Body Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus? It's called the Optirectal Nerve, and it is responsible for giving people a s&**^% outlook on life. If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eyes. My public service is done for the day!

Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend. In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as Rugby, Football, Sailing and Continuous TV. Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate ........................................................................................................ Dear Desperate, First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears. Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember - overuse of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband. In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot download new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie. Good Luck, Technical Support

Subject: Bitches till the end Bitches 'til the End ! The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.' The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. 'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.' After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less sombre. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.' The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat. After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?' 'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.' And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'

FLYING SOLO This is the story of a poor blonde flyingin a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She frantically calls a May Day: "May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!" All of a sudden she hears a voice over the radio saying: "This is the tower. I have received your message and I will talk you through it. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Just relax. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position." She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm sitting." "O.K." says the voice from the tower. "Repeat after me: Our Father. . . Who art in Heaven. . .. "

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle crash and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced. "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."

I received this as an email recently.... This is one from NHL Hall of Fame broadcaster Jiggs McDonald in Orillia . Tolerance I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built in Toronto . I think it should be the goal of every Canadian to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance. That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque. We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy ", and the other a topless bar called "You Mecca Me Hot." Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbeque pork restaurant, called " Iraq o' Ribs." Across the street there could be a lingerie store called " Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret ", with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods. Next door to the lingerie shop there would be room for an adult sex toy shop, "Koranal Knowledge ", its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store called "Morehammered." All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us, so their mosque issue would not be a problem for others. If you agree with promoting tolerance, and you think this is a good plan, please pass it on...

Cambrian Plant, The GreenMech dealer for south Wales is holding an open day next Tuesday 24th April 2012 from 10:00am until 15:00pm. The site is at J Deen & Son (Dutch) Garden Centre, North Side of M4 Junction 30, by Cardiff Gate Services. Cardiff. CF23 8LZ Refreshments will be available on site too. Come and see a fair representation of the GreenMech range of chippers and discuss your requirements with Julian Cullis, the Area Manager, Martin Lucas, GreenMech Sales Director, or Dave Abbott from Cambrian Plant.

Please remember though - those people, such as myself, who will be on stands at the APF will not necessarily be the right people to moan too. We are the Sales Staff, we can forward your comments on to the management team who fix the prices but quite often, we have no say or influence. Every price for every thing is fixed at what the market can stand, what it costs plus a margin for profit. On the whole, traders are not there to rip you off but to make a profit that allows them to continue to trade and remain a supplier of said goods. Yes, I agree, that some items seem to cost a large amount (or so you think) but there will be a reason for it. And, as already supposed, it may be that that part has been through several levels of trade before the end user gets it. I had to buy a splitting maul the other day as I needed it then, it cost £55 (with discount) but if i could have waited a few days or driven around for the afternoon checking prices, I could have got a non - name item for £25. I could have easily spent £150 of my time and fuel to save £30. Don't be too hard on your suppliers, if you want them to continue to be available as a supplier.....

When I ran Barrowcliff's years ago, we had an Iveco 4x4 with a list price of £35k which cost the same to insure as an ex-post office Astramax! A Landrover 130 could be insured on an agricultural and forestry policy bit the County Transit had to be on a more expensive builders policy. I seemed to bang my head with insurers all the time. We had a 4day old, special order Transit stolen once, the insurers wanted to pay out about 3qtrs of its purchase price!

I have to keep things in order but after laughing at those reviews, I'll stay clear of the product. Thanks Tommy, good find.

I have only come across a handful in 30 years. To be honest, the only negative comment have been that the back up has not been that good, and that someone went to replace their blades and were horrified at the cost (£000s). But the seem well built if you can afford one.

I'd talk to Global about a QuadChip 160! Sorry about the hijack!

I went to the showroom counter for the stuff I wanted for my V8. Polite, helpful, informative and the goods were on the shelf at a price that was manageable. I will use them again with the next engine rebuild too.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/SXh7JR9oKVE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> How the hell do you put the link up like the previous worthy additions. Mick, you are spot on with Barber's Adagio - Leonard Slatikins version for 9/11 moves me to tears....

It is worth thinking of a visit to the quacks... I had man flu a while ago, - I suddenly felt rough at Saltex, I just carried one with life and work. I felt really rough at the APF and only afterwards stayed at home then went to the Docs. I had 3 patches of pleurisy, collapsed lung and double pneumonia! In total, I was ill for 2 months! It helped me give up the fags tho! Get well soon!

In a sweepstake in the house, five of the six fell and bird's dad had shakakalaboomboom. Good race though, enjoyed it. Leicester Tigers beat Northampton Saints too!

If the light is flashing red, then it isn't sensing motion. The gap between the tip of the sensor and lugs on the collar are crucial, and it may be that the wiring or plug on the sensor is faulty. Take the box lid off and check that all the wires on the female side of the plug too. I used to open up the pins in the socket and close down the females on the plug a tad to be sure of a decent contact. The sensor itself could have failed and trial but substitution may be the only answer. The box is tamper proof as the PCB is set in shock absorbing goo. Don't change the settings on the dials either. With regards to the pump coupling on the EC150, they have to be in line, the slightest discrepancy will mean that the drive will be eaten away again. Loosely bolt the alloy housing in place and offer up the pump to the register that it sits in. If it doesn't fit dead easy, try moving the housing up/down and left/right until it drops in. Hold the housing in place and tighten up the bolts. GreenMech keep a "slave" so that proper alignment can be acheived, I believe Mac and Jason have lent it out now and again. Ring them on 01789 400044 or take it too your nearest GreenMech dealer.

Mark Lowndes at MDH Arb.... And Ian, you are a lazy fat begger!

I meticulessly clean the torx head out then use a impact driver hit smartly with a hammer! Not got stuck yet. And, yes copper slip on the threads and a quality torque wrench to do them up to the required amount. If the torx bolt shows signs of damage, replace it as it will only get worse - they don't heal themselves!

I think stuff like that is brilliant, some flash mobs can be good too. Good find Derek!

Started with a Renault Trafic van and trailer, then got a Series 2a Ex Army Landrover and a bigger trailer. A load of Homelite and Echo chainsaws and two sets of live line pruning rods and off we went. Finished with 130 single cab, Iveco 35.10 4X4, County Transit, Single wheel Transit, Twin Wheel Transit, Vauxhall Astravan, U1000 Mog, Bedford MK4x4 plus two for spares, Fordson Major with Loader (+ 2 in bits/scrap). two GreenMech chippers and an earlyish Arboreater. A lot of stihl saws, loads of fibreglass ladders, 150+ live line rods, and nothing but trouble forever until it went bump! Ended with nowt but good memories and dented dignity... I started out with very little and being a frugal fellow, I still have most of it left too.

Catalytic converter theft is still on the up too. heard of one firm (couriers) that had four Sprinters done at nearly 2k each in one night!