Funny innuendos customers say

[ThrustSSC]

I chop logs for us, family and friends, and flog the surplus at work - my day job is office-based.

 

Very attractive young lady from Sales walks in one day and shouts across the office: "Oi, Jezza, I want some of your hard wood and I want it NOW!"

 

I think she knew what she was doing...

[sedgemoortree]

We have a middle aged lady in our village who is very prim & proper, every year we trim the the hedges in the back garden. The cottage is on a narrow lane with no pavement so we always get in through the back.

Last time, she phoned to tell me " I need my bush trimmed but the front is no good so you'll have to come up my rear but be careful because its very tight".Priceless.

I now find it difficult not to grin at her when I see her out & about

[gnfencer]

Whilst working at a horse livery yard, I was sitting I'm my motor having my lunch,

When I spied upon the head groom painting post and rail fence, facing towards me, with a loose tee shirt, bending down, then facing away from me with very tight jeans,

Think you can picture it ( indeed you bet you wish you could)

Anyway upon completion she stood up looked at her paint covered hands and clothes, then looked at me and said

" Look at me, I'm dirty"

 

To which I thought , " I bloody well bet you are"

 

She went off smiling , she knew fine what she was doing.

[Will C]

We were at a property a while back owned by a pair of nice middle aged woman, one of our lad had just run the hedge cutter over a couple of shrubs at the end of the hedge. I walked up behind him lifted hid ear muff and said you've just trimmed a lesbians bush! We had to pick him up off the floor

 

Also had a man of a slightly more feminine nature say we are just the same, we both like to play with wood! That job got a silly price and as luck would have it we didn't get the job:001_rolleyes:

[Mick Dempsey]

One attractive female client told me her pussy was throbbing and aching for some action.

Which was strange because I didn't see a cat anywhere.

We laughed about that on the way home!

[silky fox]

At least you saw the fanny side Mick😆

[felixthelogchopper]

At least you saw the fanny side Mick😆

 

Viz reader, Paul?

[silky fox]

In my youth Felix yeah

[felixthelogchopper]

In my youth Felix yeah

 

You and me both, mate.

[Goaty]

Viz reader, Paul?

 

Takes one to know one. didn't know it still existed.