One liners from customers

[Jamie]

We did a massive tree (in my early days, so probably small) the home owner came out and said

 

'wow i've watched you all day, your insurance must be extortionate'

 

the boss replied

 

'insurance, thats only for people who think they may mess up'

 

Her face was a picture.

 

Jamie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh and the boss is insured

[Rentachimp]

We did a job in the church once, where a 8-10ft conifer had slumped into a hollow grave. We asked the vicar what we should do with the arisings and he had us drag the branches to the chipper and then fill the grave with the chip.

 

I thought that was a bit weird, but I'm sure he had permission off of god or someone.

 

My least favourite customer saying is 'Aren't you going to take the stump(s) any lower'.

[vduben]

My least favourite customer saying is 'Aren't you going to take the stump(s) any lower'.

the answer normally is ill take it right out for £250:001_tt1:

[Dean Lofthouse]

I once helped a mate clear a graveyard for a Solicitor who had bought the whole cabudal and converted the chapel into a house.

 

We also had to carefully lift all the headstones and stone covers, stack them and cover the exposed skeletons with soft peat then soil ontop.

 

We were working at the far end when the solicitors wife came walking across to us with a tray of coffees and biscuits.

 

All of a sudden the ground gave way and she dissappeared upto her arm pits, an unmarked grave had gave way and when she looked down she was stood on the skeleton, she was histerical.

 

Bless her though, she had her priorities right, she kept hold of the tray throughout and hardly spilled a drop

[kimtree]

working at a school during the christmas holidays,schools had no tree work done for some time,this lady comes up to us and first says 'i dont like people cutting trees' then points to a very dead raintree over the bike shed and says 'Cant you fix it'

[vduben]

I once helped a mate clear a graveyard for a Solicitor who had bought the whole cabudal and converted the chapel into a house.

 

We also had to carefully lift all the headstones and stone covers, stack them and cover the exposed skeletons with soft peat then soil ontop.

 

We were working at the far end when the solicitors wife came walking across to us with a tray of coffees and biscuits.

 

All of a sudden the ground gave way and she dissappeared upto her arm pits, an unmarked grave had gave way and when she looked down she was stood on the skeleton, she was histerical.

 

Bless her though, she had her priorities right, she kept hold of the tray throughout and hardly spilled a drop

quality!!

its like the 80 year old alcholic who falls backwards off his stool with a whiskey in his hand and doesnt spill any!!!!!

[Scottie]

Oh and of course there's the old chestnut "Hur hur, I've changed my mind, can you put it back together please?" Yeah, sure mate, we'll just tip it up on your drive...

 

Or "let me get the wood glue" or "I'll go and get the wood magnet"

[Scottie]

"Can you have a look at two branches that I have permission to be removed" when its half the crown the customer wants taken down!

[Mike Hill]

When the client points at the Unimog and sayes

"I don't want your tractor messing up my drive"

[Tom D]

Looked at a job today, to take a big limb off a 80 foot poplar, the woman said " we had another man in to do it but he said his ladders were'nt long enough."