Jokes???

[Logdaft]

[WirralBoy]

OH DEER! - dinner's gone off

 

[topchippyles]

Today at 13:00

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A young man gets sent to prison for the first time. All the guys in his prison wing are old lags and have been together for some time. The young man, feeling daunted, sits down to his first prison meal with the others. They eat in silence accompanied by the usual burps, slurps and farts, except that every now and then one of them calls out a number. This is followed by chuckles, laughs and short comments like "nice one", et cetera. Then silence for a short while before somebody else calls out a different number, again followed by comments such as the above. The young man is puzzled, but wisely keeps his mouth shut.

Later that day, the young man asks his cell mate what the number calling is all about. The old lag explains that they only know twenty jokes and have told them for so long that they are numbered. To save effort, instead of telling a joke, a prisoner just calls out its number. Everybody knows what they mean.

This goes on every meal time until after a few days, the young man plucks up his courage. He wants to be accepted by these hard cases, so one breakfast during a silence he calls out "twelve". Silence. No response. He tries again: "seven". The nearest twenty faces turn towards him and eyeball him. Frightened, the young man shrivels in his seat and keeps his eyes down. He doesn't utter a peep for the rest of the day.

That evening in the relative safety of his cell, the young man asks his cell mate what he did wrong.
"Oh don't worry", his cellmate answers. "It's just the way you tell them".

[daltontrees]

4 minutes ago, topchippyles said:

Today at 13:00

• New
•  
• Add bookmark
• #704

A young man gets sent to prison for the first time. All the guys in his prison wing are old lags and have been together for some time. The young man, feeling daunted, sits down to his first prison meal with the others. They eat in silence accompanied by the usual burps, slurps and farts, except that every now and then one of them calls out a number. This is followed by chuckles, laughs and short comments like "nice one", et cetera. Then silence for a short while before somebody else calls out a different number, again followed by comments such as the above. The young man is puzzled, but wisely keeps his mouth shut.

Later that day, the young man asks his cell mate what the number calling is all about. The old lag explains that they only know twenty jokes and have told them for so long that they are numbered. To save effort, instead of telling a joke, a prisoner just calls out its number. Everybody knows what they mean.

This goes on every meal time until after a few days, the young man plucks up his courage. He wants to be accepted by these hard cases, so one breakfast during a silence he calls out "twelve". Silence. No response. He tries again: "seven". The nearest twenty faces turn towards him and eyeball him. Frightened, the young man shrivels in his seat and keeps his eyes down. He doesn't utter a peep for the rest of the day.

That evening in the relative safety of his cell, the young man asks his cell mate what he did wrong.
"Oh don't worry", his cellmate answers. "It's just the way you tell them".

So after practicing in the mirror, the next day the young man gets up courage and during dinner he stands up, taps his tin mug to get everyone's attention and confidently says 'Twenty three'. To his amazement the place erupts in laughter. He asks the old lag what that was all about, who wipes a tears of laughter from his eyes and says 'We hadn't heard that one before".

[Mick Dempsey]

1 hour ago, WirralBoy said:

OH DEER! - dinner's gone off

 

Lucky deer.

[nepia]

Clever deer

[Logdaft]

C'mon the deer! 

[David Cropper]

[nepia]

[Stubby]

Just realized , its Star Wars day to day .