Jokes???

[Ratman]

Reminds me a bit of when I went to buy the Ex missus engagement ring and came back with scooter. I can't imagine why we split up!

??‍♂️??

[Ratman]

[eggsarascal]

3 minutes ago, Ratman said:

My only saving grace is I can cook to a decent standard, wrist aches though.

[eggsarascal]

Some things are worth giving a miss IMHO.

 

 

[Yournamehere]

^

Whatever hap't to Billy Twelve Bollocks?

Is he still around?

[Ratman]

[eggsarascal]

Two businessmen in the centre of Weybridge Surrey were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be opened, new shop...

As yet, the shop wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.

One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by, put their face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious old woman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked,

"What are you selling here?"

One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling arse-holes."

Without skipping a beat, the old dear said,

"Must be doing well... Only two left."

 

[jfc]

Not exactly a joke but...

After a hard day, and leaving my lunch at home we were packing up for the day when I asked my groundie.

"have you got the cheese out the kipper?"

Whereas what I meant to say was...?

Have you got the keys out the chipper?

Doh!

Jan.

[farmer rod]

?️

Ive just got it?

[farmer rod]

On 14/11/2018 at 18:21, eggsarascal said:

A delivery driver asked me what the time was today. I told him it was between 9 and 5.

?

Edited November 19, 2018 by farmer rod
hopelessness