Jokes???

[Mark Bolam]

Ha ha.

I bet she can dee some stuff....

[sloth]

Really?...

[WeeDee]

Really?...

 

An amazing story - it reads like a 'case study' that has been put together for law students to ponder over.

[sloth]

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

 

The waitress asks them for their orders.

 

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and

 

turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

 

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

 

A short time later the waitress returns with the order.

 

"That will be $9.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and

 

pulls out the exact change for payment.

 

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and

 

the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."

 

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

 

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

 

This becomes routine until the two enter again.

 

"The usual asks the waitress?"

 

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato

 

and a salad," says the man.

 

"Same," says the ostrich.

 

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."

 

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and

 

places it on the table.

 

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.

 

"Excuse me, sir.

 

How do you manage to always come up with the exact change

 

in your pocket every time?"

 

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and

 

found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered

 

me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything,

 

I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money

 

would always be there."

 

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a

 

million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want

 

for as long as you live!"

 

"That's right…Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce,

 

the exact money is always there," says the man.

 

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

 

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick

 

with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."

[nipski]

I got a phone call from a stranger last night asking me to meet him in the woods so he could look at my penis........ Effing weirdo, he never showed up!

[Graham]

There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her

>what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us

>have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

>

>An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the

>desk...

>

>The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"

>

>"There's something wrong with my dick", he replied.

>

>The Receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a

>crowded waiting room and say things like that."

>

>"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

>

>The Receptionist replied; "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this

>room

>full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your

>ear

>or something, and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in

>private."

>

>The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of

>strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.

>

>The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

>

>The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes??"

>

>"There's something wrong with my ear", he stated.

>

>The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her

>advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??"

>

>"I can't piss out of it," he replied. The waiting room erupted in

>laughter

 

Supposedly a true story. Captured off Facebook.

[Rich2484]

Thats brilliant, my doctor receptionist is always doing that. I'm going to try it one day.

[Rich2484]

I think this should be posted in the repair forum!

 

It was. It was my signature for a time. Also posted the engineers flow chart. If anyone wants to know it just google image it.

[Treewolf]

Really?...

 

That is a priceless story! Sadly though it appears to be fictional, created to illustrate the legal complexities that can arise. See Ronald Opus

Edited May 24, 2013 by Treewolf

[redmoosefaction]

This is why the chicken crossed the road