Jokes???

[topchippyles]

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton-balls and a ball of string on the counter. The sales girl says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?" He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's so much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own... so does she.

[Stubby]

My mate works on the demolition gangs . Was taking down an old hotel on the Brighton sea front . Whilst hacking away at some stud work walls they came across a body . Quite well preserved but well dead . There was an old  medal around its neck .  It said 1968 World Hide and Seek Champion .

[Ratman]

[Mark J]

[echoechoecho]

[Rac man]

OK

 

 

 

Edited August 24, 2021 by Rac man
To soon

[roboted]

2 hours ago, Rac man said:

About as funny as seeing people jump from the two towers. I take it you remember that ?

[topchippyles]

2 minutes ago, roboted said:

About as funny as seeing people jump from the two towers. I take it you remember that ?

Pathetic comes to mind (Not you) 

Edited August 24, 2021 by topchippyles

[scbk]

A Taliban fighter, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis only to find a British soldier selling regimental ties.

 

The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"

 

The soldier replied, "There is no water, the well is dry. Would you like to buy a tie instead? They are only £5."

 

The Taliban shouted, "You idiot infidel! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!"

 

"OK," said the soldier, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that, and that I am a much better human being than you. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find our Sergeant's Mess. It has all the ice cold water you need. Inshallah."

 

Cursing him, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.

 

 

Several hours later he staggered back, collapsed with dehydration & rasped:

 

"They won't let me in without a f**king tie!”

Edited August 24, 2021 by scbk

[nepia]