Jokes???

[felixthelogchopper]

24 minutes ago, westphalian said:

A traveller in jail? That really is a joke.

[difflock]

And "just like the rest of us", until he opens his Gob!

So, yes I/we can "spot the traveller", quite easily actually.

just saying like!

[Mark Bolam]

Good effort though West.

Positive response from my PC mates I’ve shared it with!

[farmer rod]

Reminder for any dyslexics this weekend

[westphalian]

Good effort though West.
Positive response from my PC mates I’ve shared it with!

You may have misunderstood. This joke is satire on the negative manner itinerant people’s are viewed and the disproportionate representation of their young males in correction facilities. I’m as PC as they come mate

[westphalian]

Reminder for any dyslexics this weekend

That reminds me of when I used to play squash. Once, after a match with a mate of mine who was a person of colour, we were showering and I noticed he had a good 6” more than me, ie 7”.
I said I would love to have one like that.
“It’s easy mate. Just tie a heavy weight to it for a week. “

Next game he asked me about the results.

“I think I’m half way there.
It’s gone black”

[farmer rod]

Just so you know what to expect

[aspenarb]

@Rough Hewn was looking at some winter work advertised on Arbtalk. The Ad read  Forestry, months work for a cutter in Devon, log cabin supplied, immediate start. Rough thought that will do, it beats sleeping in the van so made contact, got the address and off he went. Drove for hours up hill and down dale and eventually with a mile still to go came to a deep running ford, he thought fuck driving through that so grabbed his kit and used the stepping stones to cross. After a long trudge up this muddy track he spotted a silver sprinter coupled to a trailer with a mini forwarder on it and thought  must be getting close now , right enough a few hundred yards further on was the log cabin. By now its getting dark so Rough who is covered in shite decided to take a shower, as he gets out of the shower there is a bang on the door so he throws a towel around his waist and answers it. Stood there is a bearded 6`8” tall  twenty stone monster of a bloke wearing a pink cod piece ,chequered shirt , cowboy hat and carrying a pack of beer. You fancy partying , drinking and fucking  he asked, Rough thought fuck it why not there is nothing else going on around here and agrees to go , Rough asked  how many going and where is it ? Big fella said just the two of us sweet cheeks right here and right now.

 

Bob

[TIMON]

[nepia]

A professor at University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.

 

To get a feel for his audience he asks, 'How many people here believe in ghosts?'

 

About 90 students raise their hands.

 

'Well that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts do any of you think you have seen a ghost?'

 

About 40 students raise their hands.

 

'That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?'

 

About 15 students raise their hand.

 

'Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?'

 

Three students raise their hands.

 

'That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further: have any of you ever made love to a ghost?'

 

Way in the back Ahmed raises his hand.

 

The professor takes off his glasses and says 'Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.'

 

Ahmed replies with a nod and a grin and makes his way up to the podium.

 

When he reaches the front of the room the professor asks, 'So Ahmed, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?'

 

Ahmed replies, "Shit, from way back there I thought you said goats."