Jokes???

[Stubby]

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.

 

When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.

The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Grandpa. "$10. a pill," answered the son.

"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning,

I'll put the money under the pillow."

Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow.

He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10, not $110.

"I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma"

 

[TGB]

It's been hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Cokey...

 

 

That really made me laugh.

[skoda]

What do Donkeys on Blackpool beach have for dinner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Half an hour.

[Stephen Blair]

Eco , Skoda brilliant!!!

[ecotreecare]

A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 90th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice luxurious hotel..

When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00. She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250..00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!"

The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it.

She insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use." "But I didn't use them." ''Well, they are here, and you could have."

He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous.

"We have the best entertainers from all over the world performing here."

"But I didn't go to any of those shows.." She Pleaded.

"Well, we have them, and you could have." was the reply.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied,

"But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his

standard response.

After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him.

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.

"But Madam, this check is for only $50.00" "That's correct" she replied "I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me."

"But I didn't sleep with you madam!" said the manager

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."!!

[skc101fc]

Nice one.

I hope one day I'm brave

[skc101fc]

(Bloody phone !!)

.....brave enough to use this line

[peatff]

You can't run through a campsite you can only ran because it's past tents.

[JLA Arborists]

[Haironyourchest]

Q. What do Plumbers, Porn Stars and Motor Mechanics have in common?

 

A. They all make their living by contorting themselves into uncomfortable positions whilst getting covered in fluids and handling slippery tools....

 

(...a Haironyourchest original...)