Things you used to say ironically that you now say a lot.

[Steve Bullman]

2 hours ago, Mick Dempsey said:

We were driving round London in a truck with my old boss (1996 ish) a 6 ft transvestite in heels waits to use  the crssing in front of us, he stops to let him/her cross then quite calmly says “the things you see when you haven’t got your gun” then off we go, nothing else said.

That was a rare sight in 1996! One for the wank bank for you I take it? 😀

[Joe Newton]

"Fuckers today don't know they're born"

 

Some trainee complained that my 500! was a bit heavy to use up a tree.

 

I'm slowly becoming they miserable fuck of a boss the I used to hate. 

[eggsarascal]

15 minutes ago, Rich Rule said:

Whenever I couldn’t finish a meal when I was a kid.  My dad or mum would say…

 

“Eat your food, there are baby children starving in Africa you know!”

 

Cheers Bob (Geldoff) and live aid.

 

Now a days, I use this saying whenever my kids don’t finish there food.

 

As soon as I say to the kids “finish your food”

 

A chorus comes from the other side of the table…

 

”Yeah we know, baby children starving in Africa!”

 

Then my youngest (the cheeky one) usually says.

 

“Ok, I’ll send it to them then.”

"The cheeky one" is a better man than me.

[dan blocker]

I was walking along a street in London and decided to cross the road and go to a truckers cafe for a fry up. It must of been about 1996🤔 because I had just left the marines. As I was about to go across the pedestrian crossing these two rough looking types in a dirty old tranny pulled up to let me cross. The old one wolf whistled and shouted something at me🤔 the young one just smiled and asked for my no😳 

[topchippyles]

47 minutes ago, Rich Rule said:

Whenever I couldn’t finish a meal when I was a kid.  My dad or mum would say…

 

“Eat your food, there are baby children starving in Africa you know!”

 

Cheers Bob (Geldoff) and live aid.

 

Now a days, I use this saying whenever my kids don’t finish their food.

 

As soon as I say to the kids “finish your food”

 

A chorus comes from the other side of the table…

 

”Yeah we know, baby children starving in Africa!”

 

Then my youngest (the cheeky one) usually says.

 

“Ok, I’ll send it to them then.”

Give the youngest a jar of gherkins they will be in the post first class i bet. Mcdonalds must buy half the worlds supply. I cannot stand the things 😝

[Moose McAlpine]

3 minutes ago, topchippyles said:

Give the youngest a jar of gherkins they will be in the post first class i bet. Mcdonalds must buy half the worlds supply. I cannot stand the things 😝

 

Oh i love a gherkin. Or more often a cornichon. I get the jars of Turkish mixed pickles. Cornichons, pickled white cabbage, peppers, carrot, garlic. Delicious!

 

[topchippyles]

2 minutes ago, Moose McAlpine said:

 

Oh i love a gherkin. Or more often a cornichon. I get the jars of Turkish mixed pickles. Cornichons, pickled white cabbage, peppers, carrot, garlic. Delicious!

 

YUK YUK YUK 😝I would rather wrestle a crocodile and eat those.

[Moose McAlpine]

32 minutes ago, topchippyles said:

YUK YUK YUK 😝I would rather wrestle a crocodile and eat those.

 

Well what's the problem then? 😛

 

I've eaten crocodile. It was ok, but pickles are better. 👌🏻

[topchippyles]

1 minute ago, Moose McAlpine said:

 

Well what's the problem then? 😛

 

I've eaten crocodile. It was ok, but pickles are better. 👌🏻

Like eating the muff for the first time (acquired taste) First time i tried it as a youngster you could have put a window in and i would have moved there and then. 😍

[Moose McAlpine]

31 minutes ago, topchippyles said:

Like eating the muff for the first time (acquired taste) First time i tried it as a youngster you could have put a window in and i would have moved there and then. 😍

 

The problem with that is that no matter how much you eat you never get full!