What's everyone doing?

[tree-fancier123]

11 minutes ago, spudulike said:

I think the IRA had the same idea, 48hrs in the freezer then fed in through the chipper to feed the pigs!

I'm surprised the pigs couldn't manage the whole thing - bloke I know who raised a couple of great big pigs said he was told don't fall over or there will be nothing left. An interesting account of how they were slaughtered too - bloke lifted the back legs on a tractor loader arm, brave man to grapple with those beasts

Edited March 29, 2020 by tree-fancier123

[spuddog0507]

15 minutes ago, maybelateron said:

I don't understand the reference to Stoke on Trent. I live on the rural outskirts.

the Stoke on trent ref came out of a episode of Only fools and horses, where Del ended up i hospital and he thought he had contracted HIV (aides) and he was telling Rodders about his trip to the barbers and this mush called Jason had cut his hair and Dell reckoned thats where he had caught it as them types are all a bit Stoke on Trent, in short Cockney for being bent, Watch em either on uk gold or you tube best comedy thats ever been on British TV,

[maybelateron]

Never knew that phrase in Cockney!

[topchippyles]

4 hours ago, Peasgood said:

A friend of mine sells kindling and has done for decades. I asked him recently if he still did it and he reckoned the wood he got these days were offcuts from the local coffin maker. 

How topical is that for this forum.

Lets hope we are all coffin dodgers ? 

[topchippyles]

3 hours ago, David Cropper said:

I was working for a woman who's husband hadn't been dead long. She asked me to get a a heavy bit of kit out of one of the outbuildings, off I toddled, opened the door to find a coffin leaning against the wall. I nearly had a heart attack! The old French chap who she looked after next door, had been a cabinet maker and had been the village coffin maker. He had one in his shed for himself and had given my customer the other for when she went. I obviously assumed it contained her recently departed husband. It was an absolutely beautiful bit of oak, but unfortunately oak coffins aren't allowed to be burnt in the Crematoriums out here as they take so long to burn. Thank God for stout underwear. As an aside, when this woman and husband had initially contacted me, I turned up to find that they had been the licensees of one of my local pubs in Dorset that I occasionally visited. Small world out here.

Free one on the house then ? 

[topchippyles]

1 hour ago, tree-fancier123 said:

cremation seems such a waste of energy and nutrients - I'd like to be microwaved for 5 mins to kill any bacteria then put through a meat grinder and used as fertilizer

Sounds like helens cooking the (wifey) Try eating it and rosie (dog) will eat anything except home cooked wifey cooking ?

Edited March 29, 2020 by topchippyles

[topchippyles]

1 hour ago, tree-fancier123 said:

I'm surprised the pigs couldn't manage the whole thing - bloke I know who raised a couple of great big pigs said he was told don't fall over or there will be nothing left. An interesting account of how they were slaughtered too - bloke lifted the back legs on a tractor loader arm, brave man to grapple with those beasts

The wife is in the same position 4 nights a week . brave woman to grapple with that beast 

[difflock]

1 hour ago, spudulike said:

I think the IRA had the same idea, 48hrs in the freezer then fed in through the chipper to feed the pigs!

Why the freezer for 48 hrs, if for feeding to the pigs anyway,

P.S. per Lock Stock and 2 smoking barrels the only bits the pigs cannot digest are the hair and the teeth!

Btw, I believe the wife mentioned the Italians were "loaned" coffins, I understand purely for the sake of appearances,  to transport the bodies for the mandatory cremation.

[topchippyles]

Why the freezer for 48 hrs. Well i aint tough enough go and ask why (IRA) 

Edited March 29, 2020 by topchippyles

[Peasgood]

19 minutes ago, difflock said:

Why the freezer for 48 hrs,

Goes through the chipper better but needs more than 48 hours for best results. The trouble is the risk of the police turning up before you have chipped and fed to the pigs. Sticking to 48 hours keeps you within the realms of "we don't consider a person missing until 48 hours after last seen" attitude.

So I am told ?