Potus ???

[Mick Dempsey]

I’d rather discuss bullying tbh.

 

I have been bullied and also been a bully. As long as it doesn’t get out of hand it can serve a purpose in teaching you life lessons.
Things like who you can trust (pretty much no one) 

How to avoid getting a hiding, how to make friends who will protect you.

Not forgetting every morning being filled with absolute dread on the way to school, which prepares you for adulthood.

Of course I’m not defending it, but it’s a fact of life, for boys and girls and they can pick up life skills that can serve them well.

[Rich Rule]

5 hours ago, Steven P said:

Taking the piss - where deserved and banter is one thing, fair and even and to all, but a systematic single out of an individual to be the butt of all banter, all piss takes isn't.

 

If your children came in and told you they didn't want to go to school any more because another child or group was bullying them, what would you do? Force the child to school with no changes made because 'it is good for them to suffer' yet knowing that your child sitting in fear in the class room is never going to bring the best out of them, they'll never fulfil their potential? But life lesson learnt.

 

 

 

 

(As an edit, and a side comment, there is millions spent every year on child mental health professionals dealing with exactly this - the school refusers because of bullying, that is millions that could be spent on proper doctors and nurses!)

I would teach them how to handle the bullies.  Not only will it stop the bullying it would increase their self esteem and allow them to tackle future difficult situations with a point of reference to fall back on.

 

Just my pennies worth.

 

I guess teaching your kids how to handle themselves in a confrontational situation isn’t really PC but I can tell you from experience (myself and both my teenage boys). It definitely works.

 

If a child is given the opportunity to back out of every thing and be pampered then so be it.  Not my kids and not on my watch!

[Mick Dempsey]

3 minutes ago, Rich Rule said:

I would teach them how to handle the bullies.  Not only will it stop the bullying it would increase their self esteem and allow them to tackle future difficult situations with a point of reference to fall back on.

 

Just my pennies worth.

 

I guess teaching your kids how to handle themselves in a confrontational situation isn’t really PC but I can tell you from experience (myself and both my teenage boys). It definitely works.

 

If a child is given the opportunity to back out of every thing and be pampered then so be it.  Not my kids and not on my watch!

Easy to say Rich, you’re a big lad and have taught your boys MA.

 

[Rich Rule]

2 minutes ago, Mick Dempsey said:

Easy to say Rich, you’re a big lad and have taught your boys MA.

 

Quire true.

 

But I have seen many problem children, bullies and those being bullied change their attitude from learning Martial Arts.

 

I can’t advocate enough the benefits of Martial Arts.

 

I have also told my boys that if I ever catch them doing the bullying then it all stops.

 

Thankfully, they have both grown into fine young individuals.  They have gained confidence, the benefits of exercise and discipline from their instructors.  They have respect for elders and authority.

 

Imagine this.  Haakon was 8 years old.  Growing up in South London.  He was punched in the face at school by a kid a couple of years older.  I was a bit miffed because he didn’t react because he thought he would get in trouble or with the teachers.  I told him I would be in his corner and stick up for him if the teachers had a go.

 

He then replied.  There was no point because the punch didn’t hurt.

 

A calculated and mature response and thoughts from an 8 year old.  

[peds]

My two have been instructed, if anyone ever hits them, to tell the teacher and then tell us. The second time, tell the teacher again, and us. The third time, they are to break their assailant's nose.

[difflock]

I was shy and introverted at a rough secondary school. I suffered 4 years of torment and bullying. Nobody stood up for me or protected me. I did not however consider self harm or suicide, but it was dammed rough during those 4 years.

Then I escaped to the Tech and it was much better, and I enjoyed a more normal adolescence. But the effect of those years of torment and abuse never really left me during most of my adult life.

I tried martial arts at Uni with a  mate, but was totally useless at it. 

Then I joined the OTC and actually enjoyed myself.

[Steve Bullman]

I heard there’s a direct correlation between the reduction of bullying in modern schools and the police shortage 

[Rich Rule]

30 minutes ago, peds said:

My two have been instructed, if anyone ever hits them, to tell the teacher and then tell us. The second time, tell the teacher again, and us. The third time, they are to break their assailant's nose.

Why not encourage them to nip it in the bud and smack the bully in the face first offence?

 

Bullies pick on the weak.  If your kids show they are not weak then they are less likely to be a victim.

[Mick Dempsey]

4 minutes ago, Rich Rule said:

Why not encourage them to nip it in the bud and smack the bully in the face first offence?

 

Bullies pick on the weak.  If your kids show they are not weak then they are less likely to be a victim.

Again, easy to say.

Some 14 year old boys are as big as men, others still boys.

I saw a kid get a fearful hiding from a big lad for fighting back, whereas if he’d covered up and backed down he’d probably of escaped the worst.

 

[peds]

24 minutes ago, Rich Rule said:

Why not encourage them to nip it in the bud and smack the bully in the face first offence?

 

Because in my opinion it can be better to give the benefit of the doubt and allow an opportunity for a peaceful resolution. Violence begets violence, until it doesn't. 

 

My dad worked in the violent and mental kids department at whatever schools he worked in over his 40 years in education, he would be sent the snarling, spitting, swearing students whenever they got a bit too much for their teachers. His most successful technique for turning the lives around of the bullies, psychopaths, no-hopers, and punchbags-at-home was to teach them how to use chopsticks. Just lifting a bowl of dried peas, one at a time, into another bowl. He would occasionally gift them a set of funny round dice, still numbered one to six, but spherical. They were weighted inside, so still landed on a random number reliably. 

 

For a lot of them, it would be among the first sign of patience, compassion, or kindness that they'd ever seen in their short but miserable lives. Victims themselves of neglect, abuse, domestic violence, born into broken homes with no prospects for escaping.

For decades after, he would have random people come up to him in the street, thanking him for his understanding, for setting them on the right track. Happened loads of times when I was younger, out in town with him.

 

Anyone can throw a punch in retaliation, and sometimes it's needed. But a kind word can often carry more weight, and stands a much greater chance of breaking the cycle.

 

 

That lad who threw a chair at me (and every other kid in the class, there was no favouritism here), Paul Frost his name was. My dad gave him a pair of spherical dice.

 

I wonder where he is now. 

Edited July 24 by peds