Billhook

Paddy has a visit from his farming cousin who lives in Wyoming. "Say Paddy, how big is your farm here?" "Well Jo. if you were to go out of the kitchen door and turn right, then walk along the hedge for a couple of hundred yards, then through the gate and turn left and follow the line of trees for another couple of hundred yards until you reach the stream. Turn left at the stream and follow it all the way back to the farmyard and there you have it, that's about the size of it" "Gee Paddy, back in Wyoming on my farm I could start driving my car off in the morning and I would never reach the far end of the farm by sunset" " Bejeebers!, I once had a car like dat!"

I meant if you are normal!

You're only as old as the woman you feel!

Branch logged Ash is a brilliant way to use the brash for kindling

Could be fun in the snow on a steep slope, sort of inverted luge, great while pissed , never knowing where you will end up.

Auger and bucket for me. Auger the hole and lift it out without rotation to prevent smearing and a bucket full of two year old oaks has given a good result on a clay loam with no mulch. Easiest and fastest method I know.

Hidden trailcams are quite reasonably priced atm

I thought that someone is pulling my plonker!

Will it be done with your Silky? Malt whisky anaesthetic?

Pipped me at the post. Old Jag 1952, Old wood lover 1953 = 135 What's the prize for the highest number Khriss?

I find that the “ Picture This” app is rarely wrong for plants And trees. It costs about £20 a year but if you are really interested it is worth every penny There is “Picture Insect” as well for obsessives like me which is just as good

But you are using chainsaws all day long and the log master is probably safer for the home owner occasional user The sawhorse log holder above does have an adjustable clamp but I hardly use it. If the chainsaw is sharp(???) and you attack the logs at full revs, I have never had a log spin or fly back. It is not the end of the world if it does as it is contained within the sawhorse. i have had more trouble trying to cut small branches on the ground which are liable to spin or fly up or end up with me cutting earth or worse.

Or this

If you want a very safe method then this one is not too bad with a protector against kickback, they are just under £50 I personally use this metal log holder to do several logs/branches at the same time again for just under£50 on fleabay. Easy to take apart and store but you need to slip a length of 2x4 in the gap provided underneath to protect the chain SAW HORSE WOOD LOG HOLDER METAL FOR CHAINSAW CUTTING WWW.EBAY.CO.UK <p>This metal saw horse from Tectake is a practical helper for easy log sawing. With our sturdy saw horse, you can use your... tons of stuff on youtube if you search for log sawhorse so you can build your own

Yes, I used to do that , but was always worried about shorting something out as I saw a tiny spark once. The pack comes with several little rubber plugs that are easy to insert and take out plus a whole load of plastic cleaning brushes.

I am usually slow off the mark and you probably all know about this already but sawdust has a way of managing to end up inside my charging socket and when I push the charger plug in it just makes it very hard to extract I found this little kit on Amazon for just under a fiver https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B07HQ4GJN3?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_image

Top comment, but I would still like to see the bottom line

Well that is the first bit of advice I have seen on the web, so I will go with that!

Leave it out Deep Thought!

I have just been trawling the web asking what the rules are in the UK about living with my wife who has been told to isolate because she spent the hour in Amsterdam, but shows absolutely no symptoms of covid. The are dozens of rules about living with someone actually with the disease but I cannot find any advice for my situation. Does anybody know the answer???

Just wish that there was a bit more conclusive evidence on how we should interact with one another. This virus is obviously more infectious but the danger of death or severe illness seems to be much the same as any flu virus. Anyone with a health condition will succumb to ordinary flu which is why they are so keen to vaccinate each year. So Face masks for a start. Either they are essential or they do not work. I posted this cutting on the face mask thread, what are we meant to think when two surgeons are saying this? But there are face masks and face masks so how can a top grade mask possibly be counted as having the same protection as someone with a scarf or a bit of cloth they have made for themselves? So we deem masks to be essential, so why are shop assistants ,children and people with conditions allowed not to wear one? My wife came back from Denmark yesterday and had to go via Amsterdam where she was one hour changing planes. She now has to be in quarantine for two weeks and yet I am able to pick her up and live with her in the same bed and then go into town shopping???? I think that the government needs to go back to school with the children and learn about joined up handwriting.

Blimey, have you a todger to match???

Be careful what you wish for as Storm Ellen is on her way today!

Just to remind you all. I have been watching Enfield all Lockdown!

I’m slightly miffed that they seem to cost £11.45 now when I paid nearly £30 back in March from Harry Enfield’s “I saw you coming” or his mate!