AHPP

I broadly speaking agree but Stephen Blair and Gloria seemed to do OK out of it. I'm happy to leave that money on the table for the moment anyway though. It's worth more to me to not participate in the idiocy of expending energy running chip around the world when it can sit quite blamelessly in his garden. I'm actually making £50 more with option 1 btw. I subsidised £50 of the mewp in option 2 because I wanted an easier day.

I'm now trying to actually win more end client (i.e. not subcontract/freelance) work so am going away from my old pricing strategy (really high and IDGAF) to something a bit more normal. I've picked up a few tips from here over the years but I still don't know a lot about client handling and salesmanship. Let's put stuff in one thread. I'll start us off. I quoted a dying weeping ash the other day. 18" DBH, 30' tall maybe but fairly sideways and with a dead top. Quite short top too so a poor tie in point. Nice ish lawn underneath it. Property worth a couple of million in a pretty good part of a very good town. Looking at it with the bloke I was thinking, "He's never going to want dents in that lawn." and gave the spiel that I'd get up it, rizzle it down in little bits etc. Went away and found getting the right cherry picker for it was approaching more hassle than it's worth. Not insurmountable but annoying enough. So I gave him a quote for just flopping it as well. Quote(s) were this: Dying weeping ash on bank Option 1: Fell it on the lawn and fix dents (to a standard that would not impress at the Chelsea flower show but which won’t inconvenience your mower). Brash chipped into laurels. Logs cut and split and left in situ. £540 including VAT. Option 2: Climb/cherry picker it down so nothing on the lawn. It’ll all come down in its own footprint, ground protected with a mat and chip cushion etc. Brash chipped for that then shoveled under laurels. Logs cut and split and left in situ. £780 including VAT. Woke up this morning regretting giving him the choice. I suspect I should have just given him the (lack of) ground damage commensurate with the prestige of the property and that be the end of it. Then he accepted option 1 and I'm already thinking I want to climb it a bit to drop it in a smaller footprint and reduce the groundwork. Plus obvious regret of just being too cheap. So yeah, bollocksed that up. Right. Let's have it. Crap photo but might as well include it. Really does stick out going away from the camera.

I'm still not grabbed by plants. I've got some peas that I can now graze and nascent tomatoes on the vine, which is yes, nice. But it's nice and then move on. Animals are engaging every time. Like when sheep die from maggots crawling out of their arses, or a cow writes a car off, or a horse skitzes at a bit of litter and paralyses someone. Never a dull moment. Possibly my competitive nature too. Plants are generally seen as easier than animals so you can be sure I'm not interested. I get bored easily.

I do broadly agree but sometimes you just need to get something done, now.

I saw a little video the other day of some pressure releasing ones on a full size tracked skidsteer in the states. Those quick grips with the forked jaws look good (and universal) too. Expensive though.

Five minutes in for one major goal.

Where I am is pretty good. Fifteen minute walk to three supermarkets but greenery all around still. I can’t stand close neighbours though and it’s bad business not having space to do things that will save/make me money. In many respects my current abode has been a good house and a good place to learn how to get on with people when you have skin in the game (i.e. property you own that they can torch if you annoy them enough) but in hindsight I still should have bought a buttfucck nowhere steading instead and just been weird to live near (which is what I’m going to do now anyway). “Yes, I’m grazing goats under eucalyptus. Yes, I do intend to burn those tyres in the boiler. No, I won’t put trousers on.” Everyone stay in the towns please.

I’m a bit more rural. Nobody will be feeding these ones. On the roe, good timing. Two just ran down the field in front of me. Probably displaced by someone on the cycle path up the top. Sailor didn’t notice. Too busy fixated on a 40mm long bit of wet stick he’d put on my leg.

How urban are you? I’m actually sat about fifty yards from the foxes now. Considering getting up early for a roe from here tomorrow. Let’s see how the getting up early bit works shall we.

We’re remarkably lucky with foxes etc. There’s a fox den and a badger sett a few hundred metres away. My mate’s been keeping chickens and other stuff here for twenty years with no problem.

The Warrener who used to write for the shooting magazines?

That’s going to be used as a background for some instagram photos isn’t it. You make me sick.

Remember to ask matey about crane sizing please.

Both still alive and coming on well. I put down chick crumb, layers’ pellets and grain. Sometimes I can be bothered to crush the grain. Mother hen is taking them for walks outside, teaching them to scratch worms up etc. Very gratifying to watch. They’re up to about two hours today. The other chickens haven’t tried eating the chicks again. Largely ignore them. I have quite a bit of faith in mother to fight them off if they try. She just ably reprimanded Sailor for coming too close. Geese stood off in such a way that makes me think they’re playing the long game. Have left a variety of broom handles around to diffuse any of that when necessary. Still locking them in the pavilion when I’m not here. Probably will do for another week or so. Thoughts invited. The white/yellow one, your standard chick, is a bit bigger than the coloured one. Makes sense because my mate who gave me the fertile eggs has some fancy chickens, bantams, game cocks or something. Small ones. So looks like we’ve got one of those. Worth money apparently.

Can’t we just have one system…

Are you going to crane her off the back on one of those bird perches that look like a hotel suitcase trolley?

Can you make glyphosate or whatever poison into a jelly or mousse (or even a soufflé)? It could be cast over a patch and left to sit and dribble with gravity and time. Like a block of it under an upturned bath for a couple of years. As it happens, I don’t like poisons and I’d rather digger and mattock it out, but should Monsanto see this and make millions, I want my cut.

My post comes in two parts. In the first part I shall be facaetious. In the second I shall be helpful. Husky doesn’t start. Fuccking imagine that. There are particular 550s and 560s well known for being difficult starting hot, quite possibly fixed on revised models (mk2 etc). I don’t know anything about Huskys (other than that they don’t start) but now I’ve prompted it, someone who does know is likely to weigh in on the matter with actual help.

Glad it’s not just me who finds the whole thing impenetrable. It’s what keeps you going down to (expensive) trade counters and asking for one of these please. The bloke still got it wrong last time. At least this particular trade counter I can cycle to.

Exactly that.

Is it a problem?

Is this regular client private sector or public sector?

I haven't changed. I've never used state might to starve an Irishman before and I probably won't do it now. I don't know who the British government is being a twat to at the moment, besides me. Probably more people than you hear from on British TV.

Half the world want to come here for free money. It's not for the weather and Punch and Judy shows. Britain's despised internationally for being a cunnt to most of the world at one point or another. Reason number million why nation statehood is a bad idea. I didn't partition Israel or Pakistan. I didn't hand out smallpox blankets to red Indians. Some wanker flying the flag I was born under did.

Of course it is, you basic little schadenfreudling. But no. Too much waffle. I'm moving house in the next year or so. I'm burying the new place (and everything else while I'm at it) in trusts ten deep. I'll own nothing.