Dean Lofthouse

Don't set booby traps for thieves if you are forgetful. I had five badly bruised ribs and a ruined coat and t shirt when I shot myself with a carrier bag. A carrier bag I here you say?? I set a canon on the side door of my van which fired blank 12 bores, I packed a carrier bag in the bore to stop miosture getting to the cartridge. forgot about it one day and shot myself :wave:

Wow! I've not seen anything like that round here before. Would be interesting to cross section one of those. Errmm no Raafbeard, I didn't mean it :wave: Bunch of saddos aren't we??

I wouldn't describe it as all or nothing. Pre setting your hinge on live wood shouldn't present any unexpected problems, unless the tree leans heavily whichever way, but then that would be an "expected" problem which you should have anticipated and made provisions for. Deadwood, always expected the unexpected, even a conventional felling cut can go instantly paer shaped with out warning. Presetting your hinge is a valuable tool and shouldn't be dismissed. I felled a live willow last week, in an open field, which was heavily weighted to one side and used a conventional hinge. I wanted to see if the hinge would hold. It didn't, it went over about 20 degrees and then went sideways. A valuable lesson learnt, good to experiment when you can. If I were felling a dead tree with a side lean, I would have put a winch in from the crown down to the floor at nintey degrees to the hinge and preloaded it, it then hinges down keeping the pressure on as the tree falls. I wouldn't use a conventional hinge with a dead leaning tree anyway, I would use what I call a socket hinge in conjunction with the winch

Plunging behind the hinge and bringing it forward to create the hinge you want is extremely accurate and not limited at all. I use it when I want an extremely accurate fell. If the wood is dead and the tree is leaning sideways from the way you want it to go, then no hinge will hold, however you do it or however good you are. I've just thought of a new invention, :alberteinstein:Mr Ed I need a word!

I got a proposal form from Bryant, I just binned it after reading the first few pages. Why they can't have a standardised policy I don't know. Far too much info needed, they'd get more business if they made it simple. Ie How many employees, and turnover 0-25, 25-50, 50-75, 75-100 Non of this, how much did you earn last year on non-climbing, climbing, landscaping. It's a right load of (just for Steve) poppy cock. :wave:

If I want to make sure I have a good hinge and make it perfect, I put in the gob cut and plunge cut behind, you can then take as long as you wish to get the hinge exactly how you want it. When your ready, plunge your saw in and continue the cut back

Yes, but did you have to fill in the Spanish inquisition forms to get it. What colour undies you wear, how big are your feet, how much do you spend at asda...................

Makes sense now! I've been told about him before. I told him he could come to my yard and split them himself, by hand, for £40 a load

To be honest, I was inside some conifer today and was struggling to see my groundy, the only thing of him I could see was his orange helmet moving about. So the best helmet to buy would be one of any colour but have strobes fitted to the top and sides. :wave:

Insurance companies, they come up with some belters don't they steve?

Use a centre punch towards the outside edge to tap it round and undo it. It would be advisable to put it on a solid metal surface and give the head of the screws a tap with a flat punch just to shock them first.

Yep, they get home, talk to relatives and get told all sorts of figures they'd be entitled to if they put in a claim. "ooh, I know someone that fractured his wrist and got £120,000! Hey, get a claim in I would" Too many interfering pilchards to not cover your back.

Never got as far as his name, he heard a price that would have sent shock waves through his wallet and slammed the phone down quicker than a Skyhuck decending a tree on a dodgey prussik :wave:

Go back in the middle of the night and paint it pink with yellow dots. They'll soon have you back to remove it

I think the others are specails, the ones you get sand etc in are a standard size which I think is 850 x 850. You'd think I'd know, just bought 50 and can't remember what size

A builders bag full Everyone knows what a builders bag is. It's where some of them keep their crown jewels

I posted this on the practicing knots thread because I tie mine different to others, but it doesn't kink, possibly because of the way the top wraps are tied they take most of the strain. The top leg comes down infront of the bottom leg then round the back of the climbing line, which chinches the wraps tighter. Don't know whether it's right but it works

...and knack your chimney up, or set it on fire.

I can't beleive "what color lid" has gotten near 750 veiws. You bunch of saddo's :wave: :wave:

One of you lot got a bloke to ring me today, I thought it was a windup, probably is. He told me he buys transit loads split logs off tree surgeons in the huddersfield area and one of them had told him to ring me because he had been told I had plenty of logs. I said the only difference between me and all the rest is I only sell 2 year under cover seasoned logs . He said he would buy fresh split logs if I'd sell them to him. He would come with his transit if I would do him a load onto his truck. I said, no problem, how much have the rest been charging you for a transit load? He said £40. I said, what for "split logs" Yep he said. I said "F'ck me" They can supply me and I'll sell em on for £95" I told him he hadn't got a hope of getting them off me for that, it wouldn't even cover my costs. Upon which he slammed the phone down

You should be doing as NPTC tells you, when retreiving your rope pull it back over the branch or thru the cambium saver from the eye end, which lets it untwist.

A few less cups of tea :wave:

Spot on Peter

You are funny you Dave Just spat my wine all over the computor :wave: