Funny innuendos customers say

[Gardiners Tree Surgery]

May have had a similar thread already,

Customers ask me to log some wood today on site. " ohhh don't worry I can take a good 12 inches possibly 13 at a tight push" had to go off and hid for a few minutes to compose myself . :lol:

What other funny ones have you had then.

[silky fox]

That's a BIG chopper😆

[Luckyeleven]

we had an elderly lawn client a few years ago who had a problem with mole hills and had purchased one of those ultrasonic repeller things.

Turned to me one day "ooh its got so bad I've even had to buy a vibrator"

Dont know how I held it together!

[Gardiners Tree Surgery]

Haha that's a clasic

[Kveldssanger]

we had an elderly lawn client a few years ago who had a problem with mole hills and had purchased one of those ultrasonic repeller things.

Turned to me one day "ooh its got so bad I've even had to buy a vibrator"

Dont know how I held it together!

 

That's glorious!

[Kenty]

One of my elderly regular customers asked recently if I could 'trim the bush around her glory hole'.

She was referring to a sheltered seating area in her garden.

[Logged On]

We get ALOT of girls in, with their boyfriends in tow...

 

Usual question... 'I'm looking for...'

 

And we stop them there and say 'WEDDING CAKE STAND!!!!'

 

(Seemed to be all the rage last year, stopped counting how many people came and asked that...).

 

Anyway, on my own this day, and she continued... 'I like it 12 inches' - not I'd like the stand 12inches in diameter!!!!!

 

Boy friend was not in earshot at THAT time, and we both folded!!!!

[oldwoodcutter]

I had a call last year year from a woman asking me to 'come and trim the bush round my man hole' When i turned up she showed it to me on her path, a manhole that often had to be lifted, but was surrounded by a nasty pyracantha.

[Farmer Tom]

Not quite the same, but I remember when I had an allotment, the 'envigilator' of the allotments was a bit of a Mr Malaprop. He'd say things like 'We've had a bit of vandamalism so I put up some barbledewire to act as a bit of a detergent'. Sam Bull, excellent chap.

[PeteB]

"Can you push a brush up me back passage for me before you go,!"