Funny lines that customers come out with!

[Mark Bolam]

It will be easy to top these conifers, they've been done before.

 

 

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[Tim Stobart Tree Surgery]

I had an odd one last week, A guy I play circket with asked me to come by and tidy up his garden after a neighbour got a bit carried away with a chainsaw and a cherry picker.

 

Needless to say it was like a warzone, branches everywhere, tree's mullered up to the hight he could reach.

 

It took two visits to tidy it up, on the second one the guy who did the cutting comes out and asks the classic

 

'So, how are you actually meant to cut the branches off a tree then?'

 

After the irresistable, 'not like that', I actually told him how he should do it, as you just know he'll be mullering some others at some point in his life.

 

Oh, did I mention it was in a conservation area, and they weren't his trees.

[njc110381]

"I thought it would have taken longer than that", as the begrudgingly hand over payment

 

I had a little job some years back now, clearing a load of snowberry and bramble from the corner of a rather eccentric chap's garden. He lived next door to my in laws. I went to price it and apparently he'd been out there for days with his loppers. Not sure what he'd done, but it wasn't much! I checked he didn't want it all dug up which he didn't, so said I'd do it for £100.

 

He nearly fell over... "are you sure?" he said. "That's not a lot for the amount of work you'll have to do!". So the day comes and I go in there with the FS450 complete with shredder knife. Two hours later it's mulched and raked up, on the van. Then the classic - "£100 for two hours work?!". Well yes. It's all about having the right kit for the job. That machine isn't cheap and I've still got to dispose of the rubbish yet....

 

It's funny how their opinions change when they realise you're not doing the job with loppers and a bow saw for a quid an hour!

[ArthurBottlesworth]

"I'll buy you a pint if you .............."

[njc110381]

Just reply with "I'm a whisky man - it would be cheaper to pay me".

[skyhuck]

I had a little job some years back now, clearing a load of snowberry and bramble from the corner of a rather eccentric chap's garden. He lived next door to my in laws. I went to price it and apparently he'd been out there for days with his loppers. Not sure what he'd done, but it wasn't much! I checked he didn't want it all dug up which he didn't, so said I'd do it for £100.

 

He nearly fell over... "are you sure?" he said. "That's not a lot for the amount of work you'll have to do!". So the day comes and I go in there with the FS450 complete with shredder knife. Two hours later it's mulched and raked up, on the van. Then the classic - "£100 for two hours work?!". Well yes. It's all about having the right kit for the job. That machine isn't cheap and I've still got to dispose of the rubbish yet....

 

It's funny how their opinions change when they realise you're not doing the job with loppers and a bow saw for a quid an hour!

 

Many, many years ago, in fact nearly 20 years ago. I removed a conifer hedge for an old guy, I was working alone, felled and chipped the hedge, in the centre was an old fence, which I rolled up and put on my pickup on top chip.

 

The agreed price was £100.

 

I went to the door to collect payment, the old boy begrudgingly handed me the cash and said "I never earned £100 for a days work in my whole life"

 

I replied "neither have I"

 

He looked shocked.

 

Then went on to point out that out of that £100, I had tax, NI, payments on my gear, fuel, holiday pay, pension, etc,etc,

 

I could see he took my point, apologised and shook my hand.

 

When people have always had an employed job and never run a business they generally have no idea of the costs involved.

[Burgess]

'it's a lime tree? I've never seen any fruit on it'

[skyhuck]

Doing line clearance in the long distant past.

 

"Are we OK to prune your Ash tree back from the power lines?"

 

Owner, " Yes, but its not an Ash tree, its a Plain tree"

 

"No its defiantly an Ash"

 

Owner, "No its a Plain, the farm is even named after it, this is Plane Tree Farm"

 

"Sorry, but that defiantly not a Plain tree, its an Ash tree, they are very different"

 

Owner "No your wrong, its definitely a Plain, in the spring when all the other trees have the leaves its stays plain and gets its leaves later, its definitely a Plane tree. I'm surprised a tree man like you would not know that"

[Kev Stephenson]

Many, many years ago, in fact nearly 20 years ago. I removed a conifer hedge for an old guy, I was working alone, felled and chipped the hedge, in the centre was an old fence, which I rolled up and put on my pickup on top chip.

 

The agreed price was £100.

 

I went to the door to collect payment, the old boy begrudgingly handed me the cash and said "I never earned £100 for a days work in my whole life"

 

I replied "neither have I"

 

He looked shocked.

 

Then went on to point out that out of that £100, I had tax, NI, payments on my gear, fuel, holiday pay, pension, etc,etc,

 

I could see he took my point, apologised and shook my hand.

 

When people have always had an employed job and never run a business they generally have no idea of the costs involved.

 

You still get that now, I was told the other day that all you tree people must earn a bloody fortune with the amount you charge. I replied with if Santa brought me the 40 grands worth of kit sat outside your house then yes I would earn a fortune but until that day a good chunk of your bill goes on running the company with the change paying wages.

[Dan Curtis]

When people have always had an employed job and never run a business they generally have no idea of the costs involved.

 

Some people I sub to don't seem to understand that! They think my rates are my wage.