Jokes???

[eggsarascal]

1 minute ago, Samantha48 said:

Pmsl ? is that a new position I have not heard about ????

I've no idea what you are talking about young lady.

[SamanthaSunny]

12 minutes ago, eggsarascal said:

I've no idea what you are talking about young lady.

Bless I can explain in explicit details should you require ?

[Rac man]

[eggsarascal]

3 minutes ago, Samantha48 said:

Bless I can explain in explicit details should you require ?

Probably best kept between you and your wee sweaty when you are all cuddled up.

[Mark J]

NORTHUMBERLAND LOCKDOWN PROTOCOL

Blyth - you are able to fight your neighbour providing you wear a mask and social distancing rules are adhered to.

Choppington - burgling homes in your local area is still permitted providing you sanitise before and after the offence. Track and trace technology must also be used.

Lynemouth - you can only visit your dealer when collecting your children from school. The dealer should wear a face visor and make sure all bags are sanitised.

Alnwick - having sex with your sister is still permitted but you must be home before 10pm and use approved lubricant.

Bedlington - Vigilante groups of no more than six allowed outdoors and socially distancing between the hours of 10pm - 2am only. You must wear suitable PPE for any physical contact.

Amble - prostitute services are still permitted to remain open, this is now classed as essential services for fear of the economic collapse of the town. Entry from the rear only.

Newbiggin by the sea - Now declared a NO GO ZONE (in 1984), if you must travel to this area please follow all diversions, traffic cones and signals, remain in your car, do not abandon your car, masks are not required as nothing is open.

ASHINGTON - Everyone must remain at home and self isolate until manufacturers can distribute gloves with 6 fingers. Please do not go to A&E for digit removal as they are a tad busy.

Morpeth - Covid in these parts does not exist, therefore you should carry on as you were, house hopping, social gatherings, drunken parties and fireworks until January are mandatory, Survival of the fittest, we're currently testing 'herd immunity' in these areas.

Cramlington - Taking crops stabbing people and kicking **************** out your nana are still allowed but only till 10pm aslong as you stick to the lockdow guidelines and wear full face visors for each of your heads

Stick to these guidelines and we'll get through it together."

[nepia]

S'funny; I got a Makem version of that the other day from a Geordie (I think you met him)!

[Mark J]

4 hours ago, nepia said:

S'funny; I got a Makem version of that the other day from a Geordie (I think you met him)!

Mackems have got enough on their plates at the moment. I thought it only fair to spread the love.

[Logdaft]

[Logdaft]

[Logdaft]