Jokes???

[jamesfwpurdy]

Two monkeys get in a bath.

One said "oooh oooh aaah aaah"

the other said "put some cold in then!!!!"

[Tree Man Tom]

First sailing results are in, Britain have taken gold, the USA have taken silver and Somalia have taken a middle-aged couple from Weymouth.

[Tree Man Tom]

This morning, I've been watching the female athletes on the TV.

 

Unfortunately, I now have a bad case of Ennis Elbow.

[Christopher Schroeter]

Just bought a dog from the local blacksmith.

As soon as I got it home he made a bolt for the door.

[Stephen Blair]

Brilliant!!!

[Tom Wilding]

Saw a magic tractor today

Drove down the road and turned into a field!

 

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[RobRainford]

I wish all these girls got as excited about me finishing in less than 10 seconds.

[PeteB]

4 people in the carriage of a train - an Englishman, a pretty young blonde girl, an ugly old woman and a Frenchman.

It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel. In the dark there's the sound of an almighty slap, and when the train emerges from the tunnel the Frenchman is rubbing his face, and there's a huge red mark on his cheek.

The old lady thinks: "I bet that Frenchman fondled the blonde in the dark and she slapped him."

The pretty young blonde thinks: "I bet the Frenchman tried to fondle me in the dark, got the old lady by mistake, and she hit him."

The Frenchman thinks: "I bet that Englishman fondled the blonde in the dark, but the blonde thought it was me and hit me."

The Englishman thinks: "I hope there's another tunnel coming up soon so I can slap that French **** again."

[geoff]

Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart

when they collide.. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about

that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention

to where I was going." The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a

coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too... I can't find her and I'm

getting a little desperate."

The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her...what does she

look like?"

The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair,

blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short

shorts.

What does your wife look like?'

To which the old guy says, "Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."

[Stephen Blair]

Double funny there guys, brilliant!