Jokes???

[sandy2210]

Three farmers married wives from different countries.

 

The first man married a woman from Italy . He told her that she was to do

the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day,

he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

 

 

The second man married a woman from Sweden . He gave his wife orders that

she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he

didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third

day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge

dinner on the table.

 

 

The third man married a girl from IRELAND . He ordered her to keep the house

cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the

table for every meal.

 

He said the first day he didn't see anything, the

second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling

had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was

healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.

[sandy2210]

this could be a true story as I am married to a good irish woman

[Stephen Blair]

Priceless!

[oldwoodcutter]

Did you hear the story about the three holes in the ground?

Well,well,well.

[Christopher Schroeter]

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

 

It turned into a field.

[Stephen Blair]

Ha ha ha

[Sam Thompson]

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book,

and noticed he had his collar on backwards.

The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.

The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father."

The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.'

The priest looked up from his book and answered,

''I am the Father of many.'

The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!'

The priest, getting impatient, said.

'I am the Father of hundreds', and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while,

then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear a condom,

and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar."

[jonnyboy]

My wife has been missing for a week now and the police have said to expect the worst....... so I've been to the charity shop to get her clothes back!

[Stephen Blair]

My wife has been missing for a week now and the police have said to expect the worst....... so I've been to the charity shop to get her clothes back!

 

:lol:

[Mark Bolam]

I had a date last night with a lass who had a fanny made of plasticine.

 

I didn't shag her, but I think I made a good impression.