Jokes???

[RobRainford]

I met a transvestite from Greater Manchester yesterday.

 

He had a Wigan address.

[paulb4884]

I bought the new Carlos Tevez 100 Greatest Goals DVD the other day, I took it home but it wouldn't play

[Matthew Arnold]

According to Tetley... the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag!

So every morning I slap the wife on the arse and say "two sugars fatty!"

[Stephen Blair]

I shouldn't laugh but that's funny!!!!!

[Kev Stephenson]

I like that one

[Matthew Arnold]

I shouldn't laugh but that's funny!!!!!

 

I did wonder if it was borderline as i posted it

[Stephen Blair]

My wife nealry spat out her coffee when i told her, the first time i read it was in bed and i was trying tnot to wake her lol.

It is a peach:thumbup1:

 

That joke is all about timing, not for the pub , no no! Thats for when it goes silent when round for Sunday lunch at the inlaws:thumbup:

[PeteB]

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you

Determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"

 

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a

Teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."

 

 

 

 

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the

Bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

 

 

"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you

Want a bed near the window?"

[Mark James]

Wee Johnny comes home from school and his dad says sit down son I have something to tell you.

 

It's about the birds and the bees! Wee Johnny says no dad not more of this stuff.

 

1st you tell me there's no tooth fairy,

then you tell me there's no Santa.

 

Now your going to tell me adults don't f**k, if that's case I have nothing to live for.

 

 

Sent from my aye phone using Tapatalk

[sloth]

Not really a joke, but it was daughters 1st birthday last week. She got a card with a big glittery 1 on the front, on the back it said 'WARNING - not suitable for children under 3 due to small parts'

Huh?!