Jokes???

[Lorry thompson]

The Priest at the church near mine killed 5 people at 12 midnight on Christmas Eve last year.He was a Mass Murderer.

[Tommy_B]

Thems the jokes I like haha

 

Two Parrots sitting on a Perch. One of them says "Can you smell fish?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'll get my coat....

[Matthew Arnold]

Two Parrots sitting on a Perch. One of them says "Can you smell fish?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'll get my coat....

 

 

Took nearly a minute fore my parents to get that one lol. How sad.

[Lorry thompson]

Took nearly a minute fore my parents to get that one lol. How sad.

 

Sad but good haha

[Stevie Mac]

What do women and linoleum have in common?

 

Lay them wright first time and you can walk all over them for years

[dave fox]

What do women and linoleum have in common?

 

Lay them wright first time and you can walk all over them for years

now thats a classic:thumbup:

[APC]

(say it out loud)

 

Why does Edward Woodward have so many 'd's in his name?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Otherwise he'd be called Ewar Woowar!

 

 

 

 

[PeteB]

get your coat:sneaky2:

[Lorry thompson]

My friend like to mess around on boats, but he goes overboard sometimes.Quasimodo. That name rings a bell.Albino. You can't say fairer than that.You've got to take your hat off to hair-dressers.You've got to hand it to muggers...I've just got a job as a waiter. It doesn't pay very well, but I put food on the table.Just got a job as a postman. Money's ****, but it keeps me off the streets.My girlfriend was boasting about how good her choice of san tan cream was. I told her not to rub it in.I've been out of work for a while but have just got a job at a factory making periscopes. Things are looking up.I've applied to work at a mirror shop. I hope I get it, I can really see myself working there.I've decided to break up with my blow up doll. I'm going to let her down gently.I know a lot of jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over peoples heads.My new book I wrote on Poltergeists is flying off the shelves.I fell asleep on a dingy. I just drifted off.I once knew a farmer who did heroin, but he was never caught. The police said that proving it would be like finding a needle in a haystack.Stampedes.... if you don't stand up foryourself, they'll walk all over you.I've been scratching my head all day trying to figure out how I managed to get head lice.I threw out my hoover last week. It was just gathering dust.I dont own a telescope, but its something Im thinking of looking into.Due to inflation, balloons are going up.Me and my best friend reverse our cars everywhere together.We go back a long way.I could talk about asphyxiation till I'm blue in the face.Since starting my new gardening tool business I've been raking it in.Gran's always up for a laugh, so for a bit of a practical joke, I put her walking stick out of her reach... I just can't believe she fell for it.I've just returned from outer space. I took a book to read while I was up there.Couldn't put it down.This morning I was woken up by an ice cream van outside my house. I opened my window and told him to **** off.He quickly changed his tune.I always win at Twister, hands DownMy mate was raising money for charity and told me he'd entered me in the 1500m.I nearly ran a mile.Dont tease fat kids, they alreadyhave enough on their plate.So what if I can't spell armaggedon? It's not the end of the world.I got a new roof fitted for free the other day. It's on the house.If you can't decide whether to run in the marathon or the hundred metres you should probably choose the marathon.You'll be better off in the long run.An annoying man asked me for directions the other day. I told him where to go.

[felixthelogchopper]

get your coat:sneaky2:

 

Has he pulled?