Jump to content

Log in or register to remove this advert

Jokes???


brownie1964

Recommended Posts

Log in or register to remove this advert

What did the pirate say when he turned 80? 

 

Aye matey!

 

 

Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.

 

 

Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're going to pay. You have my Word!

 

 

I broke my finger the other day. On the other hand, I'm OK!

 

 

My Grandfather has the heart of a lion......and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

 

 

Why should you never date a tennis player? 

 

Because love means nothing to them.

 

 

What is the difference between a well dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?

 

Attire.

 

 

In our family we have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea.

 

Runs in our jeans.

 

 

I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it'd make him faster. 

 

If anything, it made him more sluggish.

 

 

How do you find Will Smith in the snow? 

 

You look for the fresh prints.

 

 

 

  • Like 3
  • Haha 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Billy was out in his Land Rover one day, and he stopped to help a young lady at the side of the road who had broken down.

He found the fault, and was for heading on his way when she says that she really appreciates his help, maybe they could go out for a drink some time.

On the night they got on really well. They saw each other several times, and eventually decided to make things permanent.

A few months after the wedding Billy is in the garage and his wife is in there with him, watching him work on his Land Rover, something he does most evenings and weekends.

She says quietly "You spend a lot of time in here. I think it's time you sold that Land Rover."

Billy replies "You sound like my ex wife."

"You never told me you'd been married before!" she retorts.

"I haven't," said Billy.

  • Like 3
  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  •  

  • Featured Adverts

About

Arbtalk.co.uk is a hub for the arboriculture industry in the UK.  
If you're just starting out and you need business, equipment, tech or training support you're in the right place.  If you've done it, made it, got a van load of oily t-shirts and have decided to give something back by sharing your knowledge or wisdom,  then you're welcome too.
If you would like to contribute to making this industry more effective and safe then welcome.
Just like a living tree, it'll always be a work in progress.
Please have a look around, sign up, share and contribute the best you have.

See you inside.

The Arbtalk Team

Follow us

Articles

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.