Jokes???

[Rough Hewn]

 
Just discovered this, as a footy fan and also a fan of bizarre internet arguments this is pure gold, please, do yourself a favour and give yourself a few minutes of this.

Video not available
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[Rough Hewn]

Anyone heard about the drug warning in Yorkshire?
Apparently there's a new dance drug doing the rounds.
It's like ecstasy, but in a gel form.
You rub it round your teeth.
It's called,







"E by gum"
[emoji106]

[Mick Dempsey]

29 minutes ago, Rough Hewn said:

Video not available
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Don’t know why, just go on YouTube and put in ‘paddy power fan denial’

Edited May 8, 2018 by Mick Dempsey

[Rough Hewn]

Don’t know why, just go on YouTube and put in ‘paddy power fan denial’

Just have, nearly ruptured a rib.
It's art?!
[emoji106][emoji106][emoji106]

[eggsarascal]

The Nigerian football team were so disappointed with Saturdays game against England that they will Personaly refund all expenses of their fans that travelled to support them.... All they need to do is give their bank details, sort code and PIN numbers and they will transfer the money.

Edited June 4, 2018 by eggsarascal

[skc101fc]

What's pink and wrinkly , and hangs out ya undies ?





Ya mum !

[Spindrift]

This is a story about the bond formed between a little girl and a group of building workers.

A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day Joe, Steve and a gang of building workers turned up to start building a house. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. They even gave her very own hard hat and gloves. At the end of the first week they presented her with a pay envelope containing two pounds in 10p coins.

 

The little girl took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When they got to the bank the cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she had a 'pay packet'. 'You must have worked very hard to earn all this', said the bank cashier.

The little girl proudly replied, 'I worked all last week with the men building a big house.'

 

'My goodness gracious,' said the cashier, 'Will you be working on the house again this week, as well?'

 

The little girl thought for a moment and said...

 

I think so. Provided those wa**ers at Jewsons deliver the fu**ing bricks  

[Rough Hewn]

Laughed so hard I nearly choked [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

[westphalian]

[Mick Dempsey]

One of the most pretentious “my day on a plate” things, followed by a parody. Wrong way round, but you get the idea.

Edited June 14, 2018 by Mick Dempsey