Clients that make you go hmmmmm.

[Tommy_B]

1 hour ago, felixthelogchopper said:

Is it? I don't remember.

Dont forget to add the price of a nice cushion onto the bill

[Mike Hill]

I quoted a crane job last year,two big Beeches to come out,put good money on it as everything had to go off site.During the conversation the client mentioned he needed two tiny Hollies pruned,"I'll just throw them in for free"

 

I didn't get the job,that however didn't discourage the client from calling me sometimes twice a day telling me that "a promise is a promise and I have to prune the Hollies for free"

 

I reported the self entitled wanker

 to the Cops for harassment. 

[kevinjohnsonmbe]

10 minutes ago, Mike Hill said:

I quoted a crane job last year,two big Beeches to come out,put good money on it as everything had to go off site.During the conversation the client mentioned he needed two tiny Hollies pruned,"I'll just throw them in for free"

 

I didn't get the job,that however didn't discourage the client from calling me sometimes twice a day telling me that "a promise is a promise and I have to prune the Hollies for free"

 

I reported the self entitled wanker

 to the Cops for harassment. 

Brass necked barsteward!

[Ty Korrigan]

I organised the valuation of a poplar plantation last year.

I billed the British client in advance luckily.

Sure enough, he had thought it worth twice the experts valuation and was (is) very angry with ME over that.

On top of this, the plantation is surrounded by French landowners he has pissed off over the years and so no-one will grant him access across their land for extraction purposes.

All this, he seems to think is my fault and wants a refund of the fees charged.

  Stuart

[Mick Dempsey]

Turned up to a job on Friday with a couple of others in a good mood, I had priced it and visited the evening before so he was familiar with me. Couple of Douglas to shin up, strip, fell and chip.

 

Client came out and as seems to happen more and more looked at me all grey haired and decrepit then the others, turns to Dave and asks ‘are you going to climb the trees?’

I protest ‘look, I may be old but I still climb’

 

Client gets flustered and says ‘oh no, I meant Dave is much thinner than you, I thought that would make him the climber!’

 

’So now I’m old AND fat am I?’

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited April 16, 2022 by Mick Dempsey

[David Cropper]

7 minutes ago, Mick Dempsey said:

Turned up to a job on Friday with a couple of others in a good mood, I had priced it and visited the evening before so he was familiar with me. Couple of Douglas to shin up, strip, fell and chip.

 

Client came out and as seems to happen more and more looked at me all grey haired and decrepit then the others, turns to Dave and asks ‘are you going to climb the trees?’

I protest ‘look, I may be old but I still climb’

 

Client gets flustered and says ‘oh no, I meant Dave is much thinner than you, I thought that would make him the climber!’

 

’So now I’m old AND fat am I?’

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, now you mention it.

[Mick Dempsey]

[David Cropper]

I told you the other day Mick of when I went into Ruffec to quote for some grinding. Firstly, the client gave me the wrong address, turned up to a tiny town house with no garden. Asked one of her neighbours did she know the owner to be told the house had been sold and the owner had moved next to the local chateau but she didnt know the house number. Off I trotted and eventually saw this old bird in the road looking for me. As I jumped  down from the van, in what I assumed was a sprightly fashion, she said " Why are you still working?" I asked what she meant to which she replied "You're well into your seventies and should be retired." Im actually just 70 but look 35. When questioned as to how she came to that conclusion, she told me that her tree surgeon had mentioned it. She was 80, so If it came down to a barney I reckoned I could have taken her. The tree surgeon in question was a member on here , 5th element, the ageist swine. 

[Mick Dempsey]

A bit later (when I was up the tree) the client asked Dave if he could chip up some branches he’d prepared.
Dave said ‘you’ll have to ask the fat bloke’

[David Cropper]

6 minutes ago, Mick Dempsey said:

A bit later (when I was up the tree) the client asked Dave if he could chip up some branches he’d prepared.
Dave said ‘you’ll have to ask the fat bloke’

So let me get this straight. You're the Fat Bloke and I'm the Old Bloke?