peds

Ah, lighten up.

I was at my kids' school Christmas fair on Friday, someone was selling three sticks of holly leaves for a fiver, for making wreaths and such... I'd knocked over 3 medium holly trees literally 3 hours earlier, probably totalled thousands in lost revenue. Absolutely kicking myself.

What a beauty, lucky to have a tree like that in your garden. I can't offer any specific advice on the tree situation, but keep in mind that if you wee on a plate or a baking tray then freeze it, you'll have a handy disc of frozen piss that can easily be dropped through your neighbour's letterbox in the middle of the night, whereupon it'll melt into his carpet. Good luck!

I don't climb very often, and I tend to just assume all my kit is still in the box when I go to use it. I did have a vague recollection yesterday morning as I was tooling up of using my saw lanyard as an emergency dog lead at some point in recent history, and not remembering where it went after that. Never mind, I'll just use this dog lead instead, an offcut of an abused and trimmed mountaineering rope. Barrel knot on the handle, overhand on a bight for clipping. Does just fine.

My wife was born in Germany. She's Irish. Edit Yer man MacGowan there used to play in the pub she grew up in, whenever he was out on the west coast. All the stories about him are true.

Because you're allergic, or because you're scared they pissed in the kettle?

The tape might survive outdoor use, but those handles certainly don't.

Goat willows love that kind of thing. Yank off that limb that's trying to escape, leave it on the ground, check back next year and you now have twice as many goat willows.

Measuring about 3.5cm, the half miller's thumb would rack up just over 228 on a standard 8m tape, or 228 ha'mills, 3 fins, to use the vernacular. I'm afraid I've lost my conversion table for the average weaver's bottom, but I think it varies with the length of their piece of string anyway.

I'd like to recommend this one. I've suddenly realised that of all the tape measures I've bought and destroyed whilst building my house, mostly Stanley but a few other brands too, this one that I've had for well over 6 years now has withstood all the same abuse but just keeps ticking on. One thing I like about it is that it is by default an outy instead of an inny, so it's a push button to retract rather than to hold in place. One thing that other people might not like, because it was bought in France, is that it only speaks metric, so anyone who prefers to measure in barleycorns or cubits or any other non-sensical Brexit-voting units of longness will have something to whinge about, which is always a good thing. I've got the unravelled guts of a few other tapes sat tucked away in the shed that I intend to mount into a workbench or along the scrapwood storage pile one day, but I suspect this Fischer won't be joining them any time soon. Good tape.

Would a 7 second video clip do?

Dogs take after their owners, so depending on the age of the dog and his history prior to being rescued, it's possible that your mate is a prick. Clever dogs, so should be simple enough to train away from bad habits picked up pre-rescue. You just have to put the time and effort in. If a dogs charity could teach a bunch of "untrainable" rescues how to literally drive a car, then there's really no excuse for your mutt to be attacking people at random. It was an automatic transmission though, not manual, so it isn't that impressive. Is it the same mate with the puppies as the one recovering from the accident? What price? My snap decision, having never met the guy and based purely on the five sentences above, is that he has no place owning a dog.

We are pretty sinister all right.

Got to plan for the future. Never hurts to have a bit of work planned twenty plus years from now.

No way! That's the kind of information I come here for. Very interesting, good work chaps.

It's the same on the other side of the mirror, you know.

You'd be best off asking for conditions on the UK Climbing forum, UKC Forums WWW.UKCLIMBING.COM there's probably a thread already going with up-to-date conditions for the area.

Yesterday morning I drove past an old guy raking the beech leaves out from under his beech hedge, leaving them in nice neat little piles along the road. I'd love to have as much free time as needed to make that task seem like a good idea.

Christ I'm glad I live in the middle of nowhere, where the presence of leaves on the ground in bloody autumn doesn't keep me awake at night. Guess what? If you had a patch of soil out the front of your house, you could just leave ALL the leaves on it, and by the middle of spring they'd all just dissappear! Magic, eh?

Bl-plink brrrrrrRRRrrrrrrt. Bit like that?

I don't have an iPhone, I can't picture it I'm afraid. Could you record an impression of it?

Cheers for that Muddy, saw hasn't melted yet.

What up dudes, I'm out in the middle of Bumfun, Nowhere, and the only fuel available is Ama. Will my Aspen saw explode, or can I crack on? Cheers. https://amaireland.ie/collections/alkylate-petrol/products/ama-alkylate-petrol-2-stroke-5-litre

I'm fine with four or five regular pulleys instead, and we'll provide the clickety click noises ourselves.