David Cropper

I'm on my 7th day with at least another 13 to go. Can't even go out for shopping, luckily our friends have picked up my wife's prescription and will collect a bit of shopping. Paperwork plus my bank card left in a sanitised plastic folder for them. My neighbour shouted over the gate earlier had I got a pre charged battery jump start box. When I told him my wife had the Lurgi, he jumped back 3 metres! Never mind, said he and called a Garage out.

Bleeding marvellous! In these troubling times, morale at an all time low and you pimping yourself out! Disgraceful behaviour. Just a thought, have you considered Grindr?

I think his name might just give the game away.

Same here Mick with Aviva who I have all my insurances with, totals around €3,700 per year, that's health cover, vehicles, house, personal cover etc. Had an email yesterday asking if I needed to delay my payments. I refused as I'd rather keep the sum from mounting up then having more to find. Unlike a lot on here, our state pension will help us out. I feel sorry for the lads who are going to struggle to live.

Will do Wayne, a friend who works in the local Lidl has said if we need shopping, she will get it and leave in our garden, no contact with us.

Thank Wayne. I'm coughing like a 60 a day smoker, was told by the medics yesterday to wait and see if it develops into something nasty. Thank God the health system here is pretty efficient. Good luck mate.

Update on my wife. Taken in by ambulance at 1530 yesterday. She's been keeping me updated by mobile phone texts etc until 0330 this morning when she said could i come to collect her. She was released and I brought her home. Had Xrays, blood tests and a virus was found in her lungs. Not tested for the Coruna as it seems the test kits are in short supply. She is home now and we are both confined for another 14 days. If she gets bad again, ring for an ambulance. They wanted rid of her to free up the bed. She waited in the ambulance after arriving at the hospital for over 2 hours due to the volume of patients coming in. This seems to be the norm, unless you are death's door, stay at home, then if your condition deteriorates, you will be wheeled back in. All the emergency staff have been exemplary. Very bizarre travelling up the motorway and only vehicles were hgv using it, not many of those compared to normal. As to the ambiguous nature of the "can I work or can't I" question, it's exactly the same over here. Good luck to you all and your families, please listen to the Government advice.

Hi Mick. I was told not to move out of the property. Can't visit her, obviously, just got to wait and see. That's what's annoying me is we've played it all correctly, she goes out once for shopping, gets it. Can't praise the medics who came out, very professional. Just got to hope now.

This is why Lock Down is essential. My wife has stayed in since the regulations came in. Been out once last Friday for essential shopping. Saturday feeling unwell, shrugged it off and thought it was a cold. Today, feeling very rough, phoned emergency services who turned up within 10 minutes. Team of three, all the kit on, took her temperature, 38, pains now in her sides, legs and arms. Full tests done then consulted the duty doctor. Within 30 minutes whisked off in the ambulance to Poitiers hospital. No visits allowed, just got to wait it out. Contacted my daughter in Limoges as her and our grandson went with my wife to New York and returned three weeks ago, the daughter has breast cancer so is in the risk parameters I suppose. I'm confined until whenever.

I think you mean "Ive used whores in the past" not hoes. Easy mistake to make.

I found a dead hedgehog last year under my flowering pear, that made me reassess my priorities. Not used any sort of poison or weed killer since.

I'm so glad I've stopped spraying weedkiller on the grass on my drive. The amount of insects I've seen in the past week has been incredible. I use a flamewand to kill it off, expensive for the gas, it's 60 metres long, but worth it to see the birds. I used a hoe the first year, took me a couple of days. A real ballache.

Just sat down in the living room and spotted a brace of partridge popping through the fence from next doors orchard. Made my day. Crap photo taken on my phone and enlarged. They were about 6 metres from the window.

I'll be doing mine every couple of days out of sheer boredom! This lock down is a bugger. Last two days I've rotavated the veg patch, twice, planted red onions, garlic, split logs that didn't really need it, dug last year's leeks and made soup. Tomorrow , grass again, a small plum stump to do be with my tiny 9hp DR grinder, that will make the air blue. I've started shouting abuse at the neighbour's dog now every time he barks, next shout at the neighbour. Time for the strait jacket to make an appearance I suspect.

I'm on my third cut Gary. 2 in the past week with another one due.

If the UK does go on full lock down, Otter, you had better make the most of the beach with the kids. You'll be inside your property until the situation is resolved. English bloke in the next village was pulled by a passing Gendarmerie patrol two days ago. He had his two spaniel out for a walk. Given a bollocking as he didn't have the statement in his hand to say why he was out. Luckily he didn't get the €138 fine. Saw a couple of people walking past my house yesterday as though everything was great. Pissed me right off as I'm confined for the foreseeable future. My wife, who shops everyday, hasn't left the house since last Saturday. Luckily we've plenty of frozen grub, she's going out to do a big shop today.

Are we the Peter Pans of Arbtalk, Stubby, or is it just wishful thinking?

If they're free, of course. I'm learning to read and write now. At the moment I'm dictating using the Stephen Hawking method.

Mr Johnson I hope. Scrounging sod.

Gary, I lied. I was actually 35. Stubby, of course lied, he was 52.

Yeah, so was I Stubby.

If you do snuff it, Mick, can I have your grinder, please?

I've been forced to stop after today. Went to the job in the Dordogne doing a few stumps for my mate, the French tree surgeon, did the job, a couple of hours, loaded the grinder, hydraulic fluid all over the shop. That new seal on the cutter wheel, only lasted 4 hours then blew again. Rang the workshop, nearly biting the phone in half, no bugger there. Closed for the foreseeable future. Had to then contact the next customer who is on my route home to cancel his job. So, my missus will have the undeniable pleasure of my company. Lucky girl.

Blimey Mick, that's a bit close to home. Total isolation for you and your wife now then. That's a bugger.