AHPP

I vowed to never again visit the Roaches (excellent gritstone crag in the Staffordshire moorlands) when I last went and found a massive banner stretched over a boulder, warning me about some unnecessary bollocks. That and the signs. **************** off. If you don't know where the upper tier or the fourth cloud is, you ask a fellow climber and make a friend. Or you get lost and have to work it out. Miserable sanitisation. Get in the sea.

I think rugby union players should wear American football gear. I don't really. Apologies if that made you feel as queasy reading it as it did me writing it.

But what about the domestication cutting both ways? How have humans become slaves to heathland? I understand the stuff about young growth being more nutritious for domesticated grazing animals but we're all accounts executives with digital watches these days. Food comes from the shop and whether it's self-maintaining heathland, or aspiring or final woodland, you can't easily put a Starbucks on it so it doesn't really matter.

I thought that article was dreadfully written and never really got round to the point the title suggested it would make. Can anyone summarise it please.

Good story. I'm also hugely amused by your username and the idea that as well as being a tree bloke, you keep an eye on international monkey affairs.

Bit rude.

I walk my cousin's dog in Nottingham from time to time. There's a particular tree in a particular park that a tramp shits behind.

My van cranker came to me ready-tired. A few weeks stood and then the cold snap finally pushed me to buy one of those Noco jumper packs.Not needed it yet but good peace of mind having it.

This thread is your best work, Mick, not far behind your usually excellent memes/gifs. Three cheers for you.

That’s long term business planning.

I’ve seen that with a different animal but the pigeon is the best character for it. Good meme, good message.

I use birch bark in the kelly kettle. Paper is dreadful. I had to douse some newspaper with WD40 to get a fire going at a friend’s new place the other day. The previous owner’s dog had left a handy supply of other fuel by the front door, filed under S for sticks.

Sawdust and engine oil. Lives in an old saucepan (with lid) on the hearth. Doesn’t smell.

I need kids to bore really. I instead regale my younger university friends with these tales and anecdotes. They all got office jobs straight away so my fairly tame adventures are like Gulliver’s Travels to them.

Only as likely as they were to try having her dog shot or children taken away.

A very pleasant elevenses chatting with a pair of Syrians renovating a house that I was killing trees in the garden of. They had funny foreign teabags and I happened to have milk in the van. We were brothers in arms. I’m now sat in a motorway services off the M62, where I pulled in to avoid falling asleep on a piss wet, dark motorway. Someone had shit spectacularly up the toilet cubicle wall in Welcome Break. They don’t have an M&S, who do the sweets I like and I don’t fancy my chances of surviving the next two hours without a snooze in the cab, ideally once stationary. The front left brake is dragging but it goes away when you’re up to speed and the back left bearing drowns it out. That’s not as loud as usual though because I have the cab floor battery compartment lid off in case I need to jump my old and tired Bosch lead acid. I can listen to the turbo instead. Gypsies btw. Didn’t get the second climbing line out. Eight-year-old bit of three strand for rigging (only when I wasn’t using my climbing line though). £400, and a Big Mac for lunch. Oh, freelancing.

He needs two batteries, not four and any other cost difference will be soaked up by one avoided trip to a saw shop to fix/learn about an engine.

A Stihl MSA120 fits beautifully in the bag a £10 camping chair comes in.

Battery. All the building tool brands (Dewalt, Makita, Milwaukee etc) do saws so that makes sense if you already have batteries. Otherwise look at the main chainsaw brands' offerings, pick a battery system and go from there. 1/4" picco chains are very cheap and found on the Stihl AK and AP battery saws.

I'm beginning my attempt to bankrupt British Gas tomorrow. Will keep you all apprised.

Two tenths of **************** all then.

Yep. Completely plausible.

I wrote half a song about immigration last night. Contains this: If Bradford sounds like a masterplan, then the alternative must be pretty ****************ing bad. It rains two hundred days a year, like a cold and shit Islamabad. No apologies to the people of Bradford. You should be bloody ashamed.

I'm undecided on this. I always make my main anchor bomber and then give myself a lot more latitude on any subsequent ones. I certainly don't compromise on the main one if I'm already planning a second one but then I do force myself to be very present and deliberate building the main to avoid exactly the sort of thing you describe. There will be people like me but also aware there will be people who aren't. Lower or lowest common denominator planning is a different issue.