AHPP

Was it paid per tree?

Exactly the same at mum and dad's. Phurnacite and chogs (branchwood logs) from the scuttle into the Rayburn. The chogs are even a problem flowing out of that. You have to thrust harder so miss, batter the stove front and spill them onto the floor more. They're even a pain to scoop or shovel into the scuttle.

They don't shovel well and they don't pour out of net bags well. Either get a large appliance (gasifier, thermal store, radiators) that you can put full bags in or accept that it's going to be a lot of fucking on.

The logs on the PCW stand at the last APF were about a foot diameter and 8 feet long from memory.

We're never going to be able to moan about pikeys again after this thread. We're all criminals!

There's a battery powered PCW too btw.

I remember when I was hefting my heavy climbing bag around once and thought to myself, “Fuck me. I carry all this around trees.”

Tell you what. You build it. We’ll man it. Only fair.

Money laundering?

Belt and braces.

I thought that. You’d be better off with a gun.

There are currently 4303 public and general acts and 78,949 statutory instruments on the books (before any devolved stuff, common law or euro law). Are you sure?

"Ten mil, give or take ten thou." I'm forever jumping between systems. I cut a bit of ply, "Twenty nine by five-five-five." the other week. Madness, I agree. My younger mates, especially a Lithuanian one, look at me like I'm a talking dog when I use feet and inches.

Post a photo of your hot wife instead?

Nice tree in my opinion. Topping one side to the height of the other won’t look too bad in the grand scheme of things but it’s still a bad idea and will still look worse than doing nothing. It’ll be a shit job fighting the brash down too. Scots pine is heavy and grows in knots, clumps, layers etc. You’ll do a lot of pulling stuff and getting angry in front of an audience. And then there’ll be the regrowth. I don’t think even that will look too bad but you’re always setting up for rot, weak unions etc. That’s poor form. I’d maybe take it as an opportunity to show the client your tree knowledge and that you understand that just because you can do something, you don’t have to. Or if they don’t care about that and you don’t mind running the risk their friends might hate it and badmouth your work, then crack on. You’ll learn something. It looks like a good tree to learn dismantling on btw. At the end of the day it’s their tree and your job and I’m not going to bleat about how we need to revere trees like ancient deities but hope the above helps you.

Unless the thing is about to fall down, just cut the ivy at the base and tell them to pull it off and put it in the brown bin in a couple of years. You'll get to climb other trees.

Would somebody with a copy of the fundamentals post a couple of pages please. I’ve been debating buying it for ages.

None on my roof.

That’s all well and good but I’m not huffing the inside of the stove and I’m happy for anyone on my roof to suffer.

I’m only burning kiln dried hardwood. There’s just no pleasing some people.

I burn pallets too if that helps.

Looked that up. Sounds toxic but I'm not breathing the fumes so what's the problem?

I'm sure it burns.

A guy in Brentwood had a load when I was looking a year or two ago.

I’ve been really getting in touch with my local environment and using whatever’s in natural abundance so I’ve been mainly burning 15mm ply offcuts that I can get a hundred tonnes a year of from an industrial estate a mile away.