Shane

Not found in a tree BUT (this is not a joke - it's true) On a weekend break in Deal last year, found a coffin in a second hand shop. ??????????

Depending on your background - Microsoft Access is a reasonable place to start. Though it's not as intuitive as Bill Gates makes out. I used to teach databases at the local college and used a hypothetical tree-surgery business as practice for the students. It's easy to over-complicate things so just store the info you reallly need. Also - when talking to salesmen about prospective systems , ask if their software DOES what you want. If you ask CAN IT... they will always say yes (because it can be made to do almost anything - for a fee). Good luck.

Reality is an illusion caused by lack of alcohol.

I used to have mine ground after every 8 hours use. I had them ground down as far as the guide line (I guess thats what its for). Never go below it or theres not enough steel between the leading edge and the bolt holes. As long as you can get a straight edge above or on the line, youre OK

Cash on pick up seems fair enough to me

This is not definitive - but I'm sure I read this on this forum some time ago... I believe that only the police have authority to stop a vehicle. Thats why VOSA checks use policemen to pull you over then VOSA can do their stuff. If a driver ignores you (and you are NOT a policeman in uniform) theres not much you can do. No doubt that a numpty driving past the sign und under a limb being lowered deserves all he gets but in a court of law no doubt his 'no win no fee' legal bods would rip you to pieces. Whatever happened to common sense?

The bearings look more sturdy than those on a TW. I'll be off now!

Today we were removing a row of 30ft cypress trees in a back garden. As my climber (my son, Ant) cut to top 10ft section off of one we saw a large black blob drop out of the top of the canopy onto his head. It then plummeted to the ground and ran off! As we looked on we realised it was one of those rarest of creatures - the lesser spotted tree cat! He had even rigged the section for roping down. We had been removing adjacent trees (with chainsaws) for a couple of hours before. Amazed the cat syayed there so long. Another item for the pre-climb inspection and risk assessment! 8 lives left.

You have nothing to worry about. A forged contract is worth nothing, you have agreed to nothing. I would talk to the neighbours, then just forget it. It may burn for a while but you will really do best to move on and exert your energy on the loads of decent customers who will come your way in the future. try to stay positive - youve acted professionally and reasonably in all this - well done! This has certainly been an experience, one which will make you stronger. Good luck. PS If I felt vindictive about it I might slip word to a 'nomadic chainsaw owner' that there is a potential customer at her address - then sit back and enjoy! But I'm not like that.

This woman sounds like a VERY nasty piece of work. After what she has asked you to do, then try to force you into it with a ludicrously inaccurate legal threat - I would have no dealings with her at all. I would speak with the neighbour upon their return, just stating the facts. If you are concerned for the tree - contact the Local Authority and check if theres aTPO on it - and tell the tree officer about this. if there is a TPO - write a letter and put it through Mrs Ratbag's door. If you did work for her, do you really think she would pay you????? The other thing with potential customers like this is While you are working for them (god forbid) you can't be working for any of the other pleasant, hourable, honest customers. Long bargepoles! non touching!

Surely a light year is the distance light travels in a year, so if its 600 light years away that means it will take 600 years travelling at the speed of light? Or has my brain missed something here. I vote for the improbability drive as defined by Douglas Adams.

There is, I believe, a danger in going in cheap ie working flat out and only charging for those hours (or minutes as some of the Billy Whizz merchants would take). You WILL get more of the jobs - all other things being equal - but the customer will recommend you to his friends as 'a really cheap bloke' regardless of quality. Once you are in the 'lidl' category they will all only want you at basement prices. If you have enough work on and you are not desperate - try quoting a bit higher (maybe on jobs you don't fancy as much), If you are presentable, knowledgable etc. why work for a penny less than you need to. I got fed up years ago with customers gleefully telling me that the £200 job I was doing was quoted at £500+ by everybody else. No wonder I was rushed off my feet, yes I became fast, yes - if it was a race I could get that tree down and cleared in under an hour BUT!!!! I won't slave away and do it for what I consider a cheap sum - This is just my humble view and I can see that a low charge for a guranteed job has its place, but as an asian friend of mine says, 'If it's only price that matters, you only need to be a penny below the other guy, not half of what he charges' Conclusion - everyone quotes what it's worth to them - some need the work/aren't so greedy as others/ lower overheads/ work very quickly - some have plenty of work/ are more financially demanding/ work slower. Whatever combination, if youre happy doing it, making enough money and the customer is happy to pay then it's the right rate. If you never get any work from quotes, youre charging too much, If you convert 100% youre not charging enough.

This is what makes pricing so difficult to advise on. It COULD be done in 5 minutes - but SHOULDN't We've got loads of different figures based on a decent photograph. Admittedly many are tongue in cheek but better to see a load of people's views to see what sort of things are taken into account. Once again - good luck

I'll raise you £50.00 and call your 5 minutes. No actually I'll fold - it takes me 15 minutes to do the risk assessment and set the cones out - it's the lumbago you know. PS I know a bloke in Worthing who would want £1000 + to do that.

Matty, I guess I'm getting old - the speed just aint there any more.

I'd say 2 guys, 1 climber and 1 groundie, chipper and van in street, make sure no cars on either driveway. Dismantle and down in half a day. If customer whinges at £300 for a half day ask what he thinks will happen to the 'arisings' when youve done - and allow for dumping fees, overheads etc. £300 will get you in amongst the 'professional' companies' quotes. Like said above - depends on how hungry you are. If youre gonna go low with a price - only do it on a small job. Slaving for several days is bad for morale - and bank balance. Good on you for asking. Good luck

Very nice Pat, it already looks antique as well!

They shouldn't be smoking in the pub should they?

Thats what happens when you but your bungees on ebay

It could all be bona-fide maybe a discrete message to Stihl to confirm the legitimacy. Too good to be true? Theres already plenty of punters happy to bid.

I've never been a great fan of hoists but I must admit the 8 ton beast we used today made life much easier - and safer! The oak we had to take out had lost just about all its canopy, all that was left was two very twisty trunks which would have been awkward to spike. Behind the fence in the piccies is all the heating/cooling plant for the buildings - so being able to chog off small sections 18 mtrs up was quite good fun. All finished before lunch time - I'm still not going to buy one but they do have their uses. Piccies (hopefully) below

How many tree surgeons really NEED something like that?? But that's the whole point, if we base our life/hobbies/posessions on needs we'd all be vegetarian monks. I can't afford one, I don't really need one - BUT ... I want one

A few years back I replaced the diesel engine on mine, had no end of intermittent problems, change dfuel filters several times, removed/flushed fuel tank, replaced fuel pipes. In the end it was nowt to do with TW design, where the wires came out of the fuel cut-off solenoid I noticed that if you poked them it caused the cut-out symptoms. One of the wires must have been broken just below the resin coating layer. I by passed the cut out switch and it was perfect (poetic license there) till the day I sold it. You 'just' need to re-route the fuekl pipes to try it. Assuming your fuel feed/solenoid is the same as mine was. Good luck

Reminds me of Reg (the DIY character created by Kenny Everett)

Claus Metheck commented on these at a recent lecture. He has a photo which shows a car park immediately to the left of the picture. Apparently it is used by the Polish Womens institute for parking practice.