My accident

[john p]

I've kept wanting to post in this thread, but find it very hard to know what to say (I'm sure I'm not alone) Sean you are living through what is for most of us our worst nightmare. Our bodies are like tough 4X4's that always do what we ask them to do, we use and abuse them, but they simply get stronger and cope. (with a few extra aches and pains) But the fear of that body failing terrifies us, just look at man flue, we think we are going to die!!

 

 

 

But you Sean are dealing with it in a way that I know I'm fearful I would not manage. You strength of character and outward looking attitude is truly inspirational!!!

 

 

 

Reading you posts has been a very humbling experience and brought many a tear to my eyes.

 

 

 

I don't know you personally Sean, but I genuinely wish you all the very best for the future and if good will has any power many on here will be greatly adding your progress!!

 

 

 

Please keep us posted and stay strong, you have shown to us and yourself that your have the strength to nail this, so on keeping on!!!

 

 

^^^ , as Huck says it's hard to know what to say, stay strong

[JimM]

I can only echo the thoughts of all the guys above. Great that you are escaping to the outdoors and keep the photos coming.

Your wife's message brought a tear to my eyes too. She sounds fabulous.

Keep on keeping on dude.

[the village idiot]

Hi Sean,

Next time you are power-sliding around the hospital grounds I would love to see some more pictures of the wood sculptures, and some more trees please:thumbup:

[sean]

April 13th

 

Another day in paradise. Ha ha hardly! Still enduring the wake ups through the night and the 5am bowel management regime. Ached lots this morning from yesterday's stint in the wheelchair and for a moment felt that I would rather stay in bed but this was a fleeting thought and I looked forward once again to getting in the chair and out in the sun.

Once up in the chair I went to my very first bit of rehab which I had been looking forward to. Got there and they asked what disability I had in my upper body. "do you have restricted or no use of your upper limbs?" they asked. Errr no it's my legs that I have a problem with, my upper body works fine I replied. Well there is no need for you to be here they said. See ya. Brilliant, another knock back. This followed the indignity of being hauled out the communal kitchen by the ward sister and told that although I am allowed out of my room I am not in fact allowed in the kitchen. I felt like a naughty boy and wondered to myself if somebody is having a joke at my expense. We've thrown all this crap at him and he's dealing with it so let's chip away at his mental strength and let's see if we can break him. Well I may have little wobbles but you aren't going to achieve it, sorry. And I did have a little wobble but sod it.

Two hours in a wheelchair is bloody hard work after being on your back for so long. After an hour or so I want to give up and get back to my bed but know that I have to keep going. Spent Tim

ees in the garden, pushed myself around the corridors for a while and introduced myself to fellow patients reassuring them that I am not lurgy boy and that they don't have to do a 360 and leave me in a cloud of dust.

Arranged with one of the gardeners so I can do some small formative prunes in Horatios Garden next week on the young Birch trees which will obviously serve two purposes.

Back in my bed now and ready for another day.

[biggarlogs]

I don't know you Sean but by god you have my respect.get out there and do it .twell done mate .I would guess you are ex military. Love your attitude.jake

[Woodcrafter]

Nice one Sean don't feel it as a knock back see it as there was the possibility of upper body physio needed and you cruised that already.

I do some chainsaw carving and that's a nice piece in your photo. How tall is it?

Have you done any carving?

[TIMON]

Fair play to you Sean, you are a great example of true courage.

I've been trying to encourage one of our guys who's been in recovery (heroin) for two years and is going through some tough stuff at the moment. He told me he feels like throwing the towel in and going back to it.

I'm going to get him to read your posts...

I think it will give him some perspective.

Keep up the good work mate!!

Timon

[mendiplogs]

April 13th

 

Another day in paradise. Ha ha hardly! Still enduring the wake ups through the night and the 5am bowel management regime. Ached lots this morning from yesterday's stint in the wheelchair and for a moment felt that I would rather stay in bed but this was a fleeting thought and I looked forward once again to getting in the chair and out in the sun.

Once up in the chair I went to my very first bit of rehab which I had been looking forward to. Got there and they asked what disability I had in my upper body. "do you have restricted or no use of your upper limbs?" they asked. Errr no it's my legs that I have a problem with, my upper body works fine I replied. Well there is no need for you to be here they said. See ya. Brilliant, another knock back. This followed the indignity of being hauled out the communal kitchen by the ward sister and told that although I am allowed out of my room I am not in fact allowed in the kitchen. I felt like a naughty boy and wondered to myself if somebody is having a joke at my expense. We've thrown all this crap at him and he's dealing with it so let's chip away at his mental strength and let's see if we can break him. Well I may have little wobbles but you aren't going to achieve it, sorry. And I did have a little wobble but sod it.

Two hours in a wheelchair is bloody hard work after being on your back for so long. After an hour or so I want to give up and get back to my bed but know that I have to keep going. Spent Tim

ees in the garden, pushed myself around the corridors for a while and introduced myself to fellow patients reassuring them that I am not lurgy boy and that they don't have to do a 360 and leave me in a cloud of dust.

Arranged with one of the gardeners so I can do some small formative prunes in Horatios Garden next week on the young Birch trees which will obviously serve two purposes.

Back in my bed now and ready for another day.

 

HI SEAN wish you all best mate i will PM NOW thanks jon

[geoff]

Great that you are enjoying your new freedom & breaking a few rules! I look forward to your ongoing progress, heart warming it is to see you positive still.

[sean]

18th April

 

Another week ticked off, complete. A lot of progress this week. An hourly increase in the wheelchair which will culminate tomorrow at 8 hours per day although once I reach 8 hours I can effectively stay in it as much as possible. Getting the hang of it but being a natural born show off and never one to take things slowly had a couple of near misses and at one point had to shout for Charlie as I was teetering on the two front wheels about to be tipped out. Well saved Charlie I knew I could rely on you. Bloody hard work sitting in a wheelchair for hours after laying in bed for weeks on end. The chest brace doesn't help as far as the pain is concerned as it compresses my fractured ribs. Have to wear it for a couple more months whenever I'm in the chair as it stops me from slouching, keeps everything aligned and makes me look like robo cop .

 

I have now moved and am residing in a smaller room with nice views. After the humiliation of being dragged out the kitchen by the Sister I have weighed up my options. Do I A) fight my corner, kick up a fuss by insisting I should be allowed in the kitchen and therefore onto the main ward or. B) enjoy the benefits of having my own room whilst at the same time being out and about all day and meeting people. Ummm no contest really, make my own coffee and toast versus total privacy and no snorers. Decision made.

 

Had a bit of a scare the other night. I thought I must have had a serious relapse during the night and the grim reaper had come to take me away. I awakened from a dream to see a black cloaked figure at the end of my bed staring at me through the darkness. Wtf is that I asked myself. I must have been having a disturbed sleep prior to this as I let out a scream. Nobody came. I then realised it was my brothers all in one motorbike leathers he had left hanging from the coat hook earlier that day. I let out a sigh of relief at this realisation but then it occurred to me that I can't actually do anything about it. Under normal circumstances I would have gotten out of bed and moved them out of view, just as I did as a kid. But I cannot move, my legs do not work. I cannot buzz for the nurse either. What was I to say? " Umm could you please move those motorbike leathers for me as they are freaking me out". No cannot do that will just have to shut my eyes and hope for the best. As it happens the nurse came in the morning, saw the leathers and said ' blimey, I don't know how you slept with them there. They would have freaked me right out!".

 

Started physio yesterday which like anything here was met with mixed feelings. Fantastic to be sitting on the the edge of a bed but I felt like a little toddler learning to sit up for the first time in its life. I felt like I was sitting in a chair that only had one balancing point. Rocking backwards and forwards and side to side arms outstretched until I managed to balance. Very frustrating and very tempting to give up but perseverance paid off and I soon nailed it. Small achievement but meant so much. I then had to sit catching and throwing a ball. Bizarre. At the end of the session the physio asked if I would like to do a bed to chair transfer on my own. She said she didn't expect me to do it and I should not actually be doing it for a week or two but she was happy for me to try. This is where I have an advantage over some others. Due to the nature of my work I still have good upper body strength despite being in bed for so long. I managed to lift myself by pushing down on my knuckles, move myself along the bed and into the chair. She was amazed and so pleased which made me feel great but also sad as a realisation that something which would have been a complete doddle a month or so ago was now seen as a major achievement. She thinks I will breeze through the physio. Let's hope she is right.

 

In just want out now. Get my work done and get home. My days still veer from one of complete positivity to doubts, sadness and wobbles but on the whole I am buoyant and relatively happy. I get in well with most of the nurses and have lots of laughs with staff and visitors. Susi pushed me to the end of the land in my chair so I could view the landscape beyond the closed gate. Was really nice to be able to see wide open spaces. Definitely worth the bumpy ride which jolted me about a bit and hurt but hey ho.

 

Still utterly gobsmacked by all the love and generosity being sent our way. The fundraising has been astounding. Love you all and many thanks. Until next time. X