Arborists Comandments

[Stephen Blair]

thy should always check that customer who asked them "if they could dispose of a dead bird that got into the house humainly" isnt at the window when you launch it thru the chipper in a baseball pitcher stance

[Topcat]

Thou will not get a trouser response when thy female customer stands at the door letting her dressing gown fall slightly open and ask's " would you like to come in and have something to warm you before you get up there"

 

Thou wilst not split your sides after spitting a greeney out of the pick up window then hearing your mate in the back shout "fecking fly just splatted me face"

 

thou will never again ask a man in a yank bar if he knows where you can find fags around here.

 

thou will be more careful when out with other saints for the last xmas supper and go into a gay bar. thou will politely refuse advances yet crack up when St climber gets the come on from the 18 stone DJ dressed as father xmas.

[Ben]

Thou shalt not stump grind through a customers cable tv/phone wire, join it up with some tape then sneakily call them to listen out if it still works.

 

 

 

 

I promise I've only done it once

[Topcat]

thou shalt not laugh when feathers fly out of the chipper chute.

 

Thou will not stuff furry animal into a football,cover said football with horse hair, run down embankment on rail lines in dead of night and throw into chipper. Especially when the line as been closed whilst the police look for suicide mans head on line.This may cause red patches on chip pile and groundies to faint and spew everywhere.

[Frank]

Thou shalt not cut faces into conifers.

[Stephen Blair]

Thou will not stuff furry animal into a football,cover said football with horse hair, run down embankment on rail lines in dead of night and throw into chipper. Especially when the line as been closed whilst the police look for suicide mans head on line.This may cause red patches on chip pile and groundies to faint and puck everywhere.

 

do you want a job mate, i think we would get on quite well:001_tongue:

[Frank]

thou must never smear kippers into co-workers helmet, then all day proclaim there is a fishy smell.

[penfold]

Have we worked together? Is that directed at me? Are you messing with my head?

 

i thought that as well jjg:scared1:

[Topcat]

Thou must not get mog stuck and uproot tpo cherry when performing self recovery using winch and then tell TO that you can not find one of the tree's on is work schedule.

[Ben]

Thou shalt not cut faces into conifers.

 

And tell me whats wrong with cutting faces into conifers

 

 

 

 

ps I didnt do the one in my pic, I found it while out inspecting.

Edited January 9, 2009 by Ben