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Posted

We cut an inch off a leg of the bosses chair he had not long bought. He had been saying what an amazing chair it was. He couldn't figure out why it would tip one way or another.

 

My worst was when i left my first long term job at supermarket where managers had been sods i decided to give them a parting gift. I bout the ex lax chocolates. Rewrapped them and put them in a bowl. Went round the normal staff with a bowl of those little dairy milk chocolates, so when i knocked on the door of the managers meeting they were expecting me. Left the bowl of ex lax and left. No idea of the outcome but friend told me several went home.

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Posted

Just recently we caught our boss asleep across some chairs at lunchtime.I pulled my trousers down and put my elbows together.Pushed down on his upturned face with my forearms.As he woke with a start i was pulling my trousers up.

He spent the rest of the day asking if i really sat on his face with my bare arse.We let him in on it at the end of the day.

 

Used a pin to slice up a mates banana through the skin.When he peeled it it fell apart.

 

Poked a hole in the side of a mates can of coke.He could understand why he kept spilling it down himself.

 

Glued mates flasks down with gripfill.

 

Found a piece of foam that looked very like a broken concrete slab.Made a big play of picking it up as if it was really heavy, staggered over towards a mate and dropped it on him.

Posted

Worked in local Co-op waiting for my 10 week course to start.

Last couple of days spent in minor sabotage and small jokes.

Printed off small official labels and put them inside the egg boxes.

They said

"May contain nuts"

 

Prized open the bottoom of the odd bag of sugar whilst stacking the shelves so when old ladies would pick one up, a kilo of sugar would tumble over the place.

 

Red cocchinal food colouring and floor cleaner in the ladies cistern.

Foaming red on the first flush!

 

Oh happy days...

Posted

If you don't like your neighbours, climb over the fence one night and put weed killer in their water butt. when they water the flowers they die but they think its because they need more water:biggrin:

I have never done this by the way, i love my neighbours

Posted

After a hard wet day at work. Ballistics were hung up on the chippers etc to dry out before the next day at work.

 

We tie wrapped the inside of the balistic material as tight as possible and on certain brands it is unnoticeable from the outside. When the owner of the trousers tries to put them on they will usually fall over.

 

Works really well on the larger type of groundie... like a weable falling over, only they don't pop back up!

Posted

We were working on a job once and the home owner turned out to be a complete arsehole. various things throughout the day had rubbed me up the wrong way. The final straw was when the guy stood there talking to us sipping his tea without an offer of one all day. Now I don't know about you lot but a cup of tea speaks volumes for me. Whilst carrying branches through the garage and constantly snagging on one of those strings that hung from a joist with a cork on the end, that would touch the screen to let him know when to stop whilst parking the motor, I had an idea. So before i left I moved the string 2 joists nearer the back of his garage:sneaky2:

Don't know what happened, but i never got asked back there:biggrin:

Posted

A blinking long time ago,we had a fella on the team who was what you would nowadays call a pedo. Because of his reputation any school leaver joining us at work would be very wary of him,to the point of not wanting to work alone with him.

One day my old sparring partner waited til after dinner, then went to creepys bag when he wasnt about,and dropped the biggest dead rat by the tail into his lunchbox,put the lid on and replaced it in his bag.

Of course there was hell to pay next morning,but no-one split,and he cleared off shortly after,but i never forgottten that.All dead now though.

Posted

A guy in our old yard had some gravity fed drum chipper that he always use to take the spout off,me and my boss loaded it with dead pigeons ,about a week later he came in the yard fuming ,as the customers perfect front garden was covered in pidgeon feathers and offle ,he now puts a bucket over the shoot thinking they were nesting we continued to lift the bucket and fill it up hahahah

 

 

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Posted

been sent for a sky hook, a left handed axe, a stump greaser oh and to look for the guy who'll give me the long stand

 

 

pretty lame I guess but the old ones do seem to work lol

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