One liners from customers

[Dean Lofthouse]

When I was working on the commons as a ranger we had some tree surgeons in and member of the public informed us 'They can't be professional - they don't have a Land Rover'

 

I'd have thought the same Tom, you can't be a "proper" Tree Surgeon without one

[Mesterh]

Err do I have this tax thing all wrong but as far as I know when you buy something through the business at still costs money just not the full amout.ie working on a basic 25% i buy something for £1000 but it only costs £750 since the tax man dont get his £250 tax of the would be profit.

I hope I've got it wrong could be in for some dosh back:001_tongue:

[toprotter]

Customer with large hedge asked me :

coud you just take the top out without reducing the height?!

[arbormaster]

Costumer says looking at a 90ft monster "I would do it myself but my ladders no quite high enough!!! I'm thinking (i'd like to see you try)

 

Costumer phones saying "ive got this tree i need removing its about ... high and .... wide how much will that cost, I'm thinking (how the f**k do i know without seeing it)

[Dean Lofthouse]

Err do I have this tax thing all wrong but as far as I know when you buy something through the business at still costs money just not the full amout.ie working on a basic 25% i buy something for £1000 but it only costs £750 since the tax man dont get his £250 tax of the would be profit.

I hope I've got it wrong could be in for some dosh back:001_tongue:

 

It's another thread (perhaps you should start one ) but this year things change. If you buy equipment, saws included you don't pay the income tax obviously but you also get depreciation.

 

I'm not sure what it was exactly but my £18,000 chipper depreciated by something like £8k in the first year so in effect, your total tax saving pays the finance payments on it in the first year.

 

Someone correct me if I'm wrong by starting another thread

[Foord]

Not a customer but a friend asked me the other day:

 

"dude - what can you do with trees?"

 

 

Well I can hug them for a start.

 

followed by:

 

"what you charge?"

 

What, for a hug?

[Big 'Ammer]

Could be some of the local competition Nige

 

Pete, If they can't be arsed to start till 10, and then forget to go to the job they won the day before, I don't think I've anything to worry about!

 

Perhaps it was their signing on day?!

 

I am intrigued by the call, I've rung the number twice today and its still switched off!

[Big dog]

Might have had to move the caravan to a different county.

[Mac McLennan]

Job (I did not get) phones me up and says the people who got the job have not got ladders long enough.

 

They actually turned up and had second thoughts.

 

Could I do the job....Grrrrrrr

[Mesterh]

It's another thread (perhaps you should start one )

 

 

Oops went off topic soz

 

Back on topic

 

"I've got more trees that need pruning next year if you knock XXX amount off you can do those next time" Yeah right fell for that twice wont happen a third time.

 

"you must make a fortune on all the logs and chip you sell" You want to buy 300 ton of the stuff?

 

"I've had a cheaper quote but you seem more proffesional can you beat theres?" No!