Jokes???

[roboted]

Nice one(s) J 👍

[Logdaft]

During a church service, the pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie stood and walked to the podium. She said, “Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible motorcycle accident and his scrotum was crushed.”

There was a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation.“Phil was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and they were able to reconstruct the crushed remnants of Phil’s scrotum, using wire to reinforce and shape it.”

The men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably.“Now,” she announced in a quivering voice, “thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.” All the men sighed with relief.

The pastor rose and asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, “I’m Phil.”

The entire congregation held its breath.

“I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum.”

[Logdaft]

[topchippyles]

[trigger_andy]

57 minutes ago, topchippyles said:

 

You look younger than I imagined 

[topchippyles]

30 minutes ago, trigger_andy said:

You look younger than I imagined 

Got your tights on today 🤭

[manco]

On 07/09/2021 at 17:17, SamanthaSunny said:

 

thanks for introducing me to my newest annoying habit

 

[Al Cormack]

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

‘I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, then eat regularly

again for 2 days then skip a day and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The

next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.’

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60

pounds!

‘That’s amazing!’ the doctor said ‘did you follow my instructions?'

The Irishman nodded: 'I'll tell you what though, taut I were going to drop

dead on dat tird day.'

‘You mean from the hunger?' asked the doctor.

'No, from the bloody skippin!'

[Ratman]

[Haironyourchest]