Jokes???

[Khriss]

9 minutes ago, SamanthaSunny said:

I will NEVER go caving again for eight hours solid only to realise there are no toilets and I have just developed food poisoning 🤢 😂😂😂

Try scuba diving with the shits.  K

[Ratman]

[David Cropper]

1 hour ago, SamanthaSunny said:

😂😂😂😂

Yes, I did.

[Logdaft]

SIMPLE TRUTH 1

Partners help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH 2

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and saying "Congrats".
But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say "Good job".
Moral of the story: "Hard work is never appreciated.

No Underwear - Makes Sense to Me

A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.
'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed
The old man looked off in the distance without answering.
'Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?' he asked again.
The old man slowly looked at him and said, 'Well...last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.'

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE

1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Jaguar than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

[Doug Tait]

3 hours ago, SamanthaSunny said:

Had a similar comment last night when walking in the woods. Apparently I was "surveying the trees" and not listening to what someone in her office had said.

It's a familiar complaint.

[Mrblue5000]

Not a ring spanner prank.

[Mark J]

[Moose McAlpine]

My girlfriend accused me of being a transvestite, so i packed her things and left.

[SamanthaSunny]

49 minutes ago, Doug Tait said:

Had a similar comment last night when walking in the woods. Apparently I was "surveying the trees" and not listening to what someone in her office had said.

It's a familiar complaint.

Bless ya 😁 trees are beautiful so I cannot blame you 😂

[SamanthaSunny]

50 minutes ago, Mrblue5000 said:

Not a ring spanner prank.

These kept me laughing for ages Mr Blue 🤣