Jokes???

[Mark Bolam]

2 hours ago, Ratman said:

‘Shoot’ is spelled incorrectly mate.

[Gary Prentice]

13 hours ago, Ratman said:

Now that would be an appropriate use of ratchet straps!

[petercb]

Can I have first dibs at checking how secure that load is? Alright I'll join the back of the queue.

[Big J]

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.

[Big J]

Which of Santa's reindeer makes the best kebab?

 

Donner

[farmer rod]

On 21/12/2018 at 09:51, Gary Prentice said:

Now that would be an appropriate use of ratchet straps!

Must be old age, but I was thinking scissors

[eggsarascal]

[Ratman]

[kevinjohnsonmbe]

Merry Christmas
A little early I know, but I have so many happy beautiful friends, I thought I'd get the ugly fuckers out of the way first. After careful consideration of your performance in 2018 I have decided to extend our friendship for another 12 months.

 

A little Christmas message for you. Not every flower can say love, but a rose can. Not every plant survives a thirst, but a cactus can. Not every retard can read, but look at you go, little buddy! Today you should take a moment and send an encouraging message to a fucked up friend, just as I have done. I don't care if you lick windows, or fuck farm animals.

 

You hang in there cupcake, because you're fucking special to me, and you're my friend. Look at you smiling at your phone / PC screen, you crayon eating mother fucker!
 

Merry Christmas my special friends
Don't fuck it up. All the best in 2019 x

Edited December 24, 2018 by kevinjohnsonmbe

[eggsarascal]