Jokes???

[Dave Martin]

Scientists have found that many women develop `Hoover Disease` after a year of marriage. They make a continuous whining noise but dont suck anymore.

[Alex Reid]

A very tired nurse, walks into a bank, Totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. Preparing to write a cheque, she pulls a Rectal Thermometer Out of her purse And tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, She looks at the flabbergasted teller And without missing a beat, she says: 'Well, that's grea...t....that's just great... Some asshole's got my pen!'

[Lurcherman]

 

Another Christmas................ another traumatised puppy!!!!

[benwrdn]

Woman says to her husband, "you make love like you decorate"

 

"What", he replies, "slow and professional, with attention to detail"

 

"No, get it done quick and leave me to finish it myself"!

 

LOL:thumbup:

[Tommy_B]

A 5 year old and a 3 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.

'You know what?' says the 5 year old, 'I think it's about time we

started swearing.'

The 3 year old nods his head in approval, so the 5 year old says, 'When

we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear

after me, ok?'

'Ok' the 3 year old, agrees with enthusiasm.

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 5 year old what he wants

for breakfast.

'Oh, s**t mum, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Coco Pops'

WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got

up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.

She looked at the 3 year old and asked with a stern voice, 'And what do

YOU want for breakfast, young man?'

'I don't know,' he blubbers, 'but it won't be f...ing Coco Pops'

[PeteB]

Got the sack today from the Salvation Army soup kitchen. All I said was "Hurry Up!, some of us have homes to go to........

[Mick Stockbridge]

Got the sack today from the Salvation Army soup kitchen. All I said was "Hurry Up!, some of us have homes to go to........

 

:lol:

[Tom D]

:lol:

why men don't write columns.pdf

[Alex Reid]

that attachement is class!

[Alex Reid]

Bought one of them non-drop xmas trees this year

 

bit ironic really

 

look what happened to grandpa.....